


The Boy In The Typewriter

by deafeningsilences



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-06-29
Packaged: 2017-11-26 14:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deafeningsilences/pseuds/deafeningsilences
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn Malik, an author, praised for his debut novel which has reached beyond bounds, he was brilliant. But at a time where inspiration seems to elude him, he thinks of the perfect boy, his perfect match, but what happens when one day he wakes up to find the boy cooking in his kitchen? (Based on the movie Ruby Sparks)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Boy in The Typewriter

_The sun was shining above him, he was on the ground of a park as it seemed the gentle breeze caressing his tan kin, then a darkness enshrouded him as he looked up there was a boy in front of him. Only a shock of blond hair distinguishable, he was standing in front of the sun only shadows graced his soft features the boy was saying "Are you ok?" a strong Irish brogue present in his intonation. Zayn was about to speak his name_

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Zayn Malik awoke with a groan, taking in the white features of his bare room. He had another dream about this boy, this blond Irish boy. Who was he, and how the hell does he keep coming into my dreams. He' never seen someone like him in real life, but all the same he felt real, like he was meant for Zayn. His thoughts were interrupted by his dog barking, Hatchi was in a way a reflection of him, a timid dog with poor social skills and quirks we people found unnerving at times. Like Hatchi's inability to pee like a male dog would. 

After taking Hatchi out for his business Zayn ventured to his typewriter and sat down, the only thing you could hear was soft disappointed breath of a frustrated writer, words were not flowing from his minds, there was no inspiration to enlighten his senses, only the blankness of nothing, white and vacant like the paper write in front of him; empty. His reverie of solitude was interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing.

"Hello" Zayn voiced into the receiver

"Zayn gym with me and Harry?" the voice of Louis Tomlinson filled his ears

Louis was Zayn's adoptive brother; Zayn was taken by the best friend of her mother Jay Tomlinson, after his parents died of a tragic car accident not having any known relative Jay took him without a seconds notice. He only used his name to keep the memory of his parents alive but asides from that he was a true Tomlinson at heart. Louis was Jay's son, he was a successful actor in the theatre constantly being featured on Broadway, he lived with his life partner Harry and their adopted daughter Darcy. He was Zayn's best and only friend. Louis was a polar opposition of Zayn all laughs and excitement while Zayn was quiet and brooding always deep in thought. But Zayn loved Louis all the same.

"Yeah sure, be there in 15 minutes" and with that they bid adieu 

*******

 

Zayn felt the sweat trickling down his spine his wife beater absorbing the salty droplets, his head was pounding, breath heavy with exhaustion, streaks of moisture dropping on the dark fabric of the treadmill. Stopping his treadmill and viewing the body next to him, the tan boy running at max speed his feathered hair gathering sweat his tight shirt sticking to his ripped chest and strong biceps, he was a sight to behold; Louis was in the zone not even noticing his brother’s abrupt stop. And after glancing to his side he found Zayn panting from fatigue, so he stopped and said "break for a bit, I think Harry's finished with his sets" Zayn just gave him a grateful nod, moving to the benches. Louis broke the silence with his constant inquiry when meeting with Zayn "How's the writing going?" 

Zayn was going to say something like "My writing is absent, it is a figment of my imagination, it is non-existent to this world and to any world, it is a concrete as the relationship I have with the boy in my dreams, it is in absentia" but his he was interrupted by a very sweaty, very giddy curly haired boy plopping himself on Louis. Harry, Louis’ partner in crime, Zayn never understood their relationship both boys were slightly undisputed in reference to their ability to be immature idiots, they never failed to remind Zayn of their childlike demeanour and their impaired sense of decency, like now where they were practically sexually harassing each other, groping everything and anything they could find with their hands exploring each other, yet even in their constant affection and immaturity they’ve managed keep a child alive for more than a year and keep that child from being taken away by child services. But Zayn would jut dismiss his doubts when they are together with their daughter, cause they just shower her with affection and love, then Zayn would understand, they loved her and each other, only if he could find someone like that.

After another round of kissing Louis let go of Harry and turned to Zayn and asked his other obligatory question to his brother “Have you met anyone yet?”

To this Zayn already had his rehearsed answer “I’m concentrating on my writing”

This always had Louis off , he loved his brother very much but he knew he needed something to irk his imagination, something to take him out of his rut, his silent exile from the world of happiness. He’s been sulking for forever ever since “she” left him after his their father died, it was depressing for Louis it was ok due to Harry being there to comfort him and love him. Zayn on the other hand had to suffer another blow when “she” left leaving him cold and empty inside. To this day after 6 months he still hasn’t gotten over her and it was just so sad to see his brother this way. So Louis would ask and get the same answer knowing that Zayn would never admit to wanting to just remain single for the rest of his life.

Zayn saw the concerned look on his brother and said “I’ll be alright. I have to leave now I’m seeing Dr. Payne in a bit.”

Louis hugged Zayn and headed to the showers concern for his brother’s happiness still at the back of his mind.

*******

Dr. Payne’s office was stuffy old books littering the shelves, antique furniture gracing the carpeted floor, the smell of oak and pine mixed with the subtle hints of maple gave the earthy feel something very grounded and rooted, her Zayn felt safe, just talking to his therapist was relieving but no amount of relief could fill the emptiness he felt.

Zayn was rambling about his inability to write, his doubts of his skills and his moment of hesitations to lead himelf to a spiral of nothingness a void of his mind.

Then Dr. Payne asked him “Do you remember why you got Hatchi?” and Zayn glanced at Liam Payne, taking in his features, he was pretty young to be a doctor he still had the youth in his eyes, but there also was a deep maturity in the soft brown orbs, he had a mop of sandy hair and a muscular build, cutting through his crisp button up and his tight slacks. He had an air of grace and poise Zayn did not possess, while his therapist was muscular and fit, Zayn was skinny and awkward his tan skin extenuating his sharp and skinny frame with, his jet black hair and his amber eyes, Zayn did not carry himself as a proper man should but he had problems which justified this demeanor.

“To go climb mountains and stuff” Liam gave him a knowing look and said

“And?”

Zayn groaned “So that I can take him on walks and people would stop and pet him and I can have actual social contact outside of my brother”

“And what happened to that?” Liam inquired

“Hatchi scares easily and he pees like a girl so people don’t really pet him” Zayn stated plainly

Liam continued with his interview asking “Are you embarrassed about this?”

Zayn hesitated for a bit but replied “No” and gave Liam a questioning look

“Ok Zayn I’m going to give you a writing assignment” Liam continued

“Can’t write” Zayn retorted

“This will just be for me then, I want you to write a page of person who sees Hatchi in all his slobbery glory and likes him just the way he is” Liam finished

Zayn gave a doubtful glance at Liam and asked “Can it be bad?”

And Liam replied “I want it to be very bad.”

*******

_Zayn was sitting by a tree, his back on the rough bark his eyes transfixed on his copy of The Great Gatsby, Hatchi lounging beside him._

_He was interrupted by an Irish brogue stating “She’s so cute”_

_Zayn glanced to his right to find an boy standing in front of him he had the bluest of eyes, like the ocean deep and serene. Zayn snapped out of his thoughts when the voice spoke again, “Yer dog she’s cute”_

_Zayn replied “Umm he’s a boy”_

_The boy chuckled slightly and said “Are ya sure there mate? Cause yer dog just peed like a girl”_

_Zayn’s mind was reeling who was he and why does he seem so familiar, taking all the courage he could muster he asked him “Have we met before?”_

_The blue-eyed boy just answered “No I don’t think so” Zayn was just staring at the boy then he continued “hey can I draw yer dog?”_

_Zayn just looked at him and said “Sure”_

_The boy kneeled down on the grass and Zayn could now see him clearly, he had white shirt covered by a grey wool cardigan, he was wearing baggy chinos and a pair of black converse. He had a nice muscular build, not like Louis’ or Liam’s it was boyish and slender, and he had milky skin which countered Zayn’s tan complexion.  His hair was bleach blond at the top and mousy brown at the roots styled in a short quiff. But what Zayn was looking intently at was his bright blue eyes which just completely brought him over the edge, this boy was perfect and Zayn couldn’t stop looking at him._

_The boy spoke up taking Zayn out of his contemplation “So what’s his name?”_

_“Hatchi, like Hatchiko from the movie” Zayn answered_

_“Never heard of that movie in me life, but I’ll just have to think it was a good movie, for someone to reference the name” the boy smiled_

_“So you’re an artist?” Zayn inquired_

_“Ya but I also dabble in music from time to time, how bout you what do you do?” the boy questioned_

_“Well I’m a writer” the boy smiled at this and said “Wow cool!”_

_“So whose yer favourite writer then?” the boy continued_

_“Well one of my favorites would be Scott Fitzgerald” The boy gave him a questioning glance_

_“Really, I never read him” Zayn was shocked_

_“Really you haven’t read the Great Gatsby it’s a literary masterpiece” the boy  just laughed at this_

_“I’m not a big reader meself, but I’ll give it a try if you’re so keen on it” Zayn smiled_

_“Wow look at the time, I have to go” but before he left he ripped a piece of paper and gave it to Zayn a beautifully drawn picture of Hatchi etched on the milky white texture. “You’re really good, its beautiful” Zayn voiced_

_“Ya thanks mate, yer dog may pee like a bitch but I like him anyway” a toothy smile etched on the boys face as he gave Hatchi one last pet._

_"What did you just say?" Zayn questioned the boy_

_“I like him”_

 Zayn was awoken from his ethereal state running to his typewriter the image of the blond boy etched in his mind.

His name Niall, Niall Horan from Mullingar Ireland

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. His Name's Niall And...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Zayn's mind he was happy because he had a muse once more an inspiration to give a pulse to his dormant imagination. He thought that he fell once more with his writing and not the character he had created. That was what he really thought...

Time did not exist anymore in Zayn's mind, the constant ebb of the words free flowing from his mind, creating Niall Horan, detailing his life giving him texture deducing his fears and loves, developing his humanity. It was what Zayn craved for, the chance to enchant himself with someone who was just pure perfection, an image of pure bliss. Zayn was addicted, Niall had become a drug he could not dare to leave he was a blooming figure in the dullness of Zayn's life, he felt the vigour that was lost was now regained with the presence of Niall, he would not and could not severe himself from him. Zayn loved how Niall wasn't normal, how he's only finished one book in his life yet still manages to keep an intellectual conversation and Zayn loved how Niall would blush crimson if you would complement his art, he adored Niall's bubbly demeanour to everything in life, where Niall was there was sunshine and rainbows and obnoxious pieces of chocolate descending from the sky filling the lives of people with vibrancy and joy. Night and day ceased to exist as Zayn told the story of his love life with Niall, their first encounter, their first date, their first kiss, their first time, and of these were beautiful, each scene invigorating. Zayn was genuinely ecstatic because he did not only find a new book or a new idea, he found a new life in Niall, a life he did not deem illogical and far from normal, but he was too in love with the prospect of Niall to even disenchant himself from his dream state. 

In Zayn's mind he was happy because he had a muse once more an inspiration to give a pulse to his dormant imagination. He thought that he fell once more with his writing and not the character he had created. That was what he really thought...

Only when he gave Liam his work did he realize his unnatural affinity to his character. His unrelenting feelings toward this person, this figment of his imagination made him realize he was as it were, a depressing lonely writer who's only love in life is a fictional being. 

Liam was eyeing Zayn curiously, because he loved what he saw in front of him, a boy who's life was rejuvenated by something, by a muse which only he could perceive, only he could touch, only he could empathize with. Zayn had created his own happiness and Liam had no intention of breaking  Zayn's relationship with this character, for he brought out the best in Zayn even when it did not even exist. He wanted Zayn to discard the absurdity and experience the happiness he had created for himself. But now that Zayn has grasped its audacity, he now was in a state of regress, submitting himself to the oddity of his circumstance.

Zayn was wallowing in his self pity, just internally slapping himself stooping to a new low of desperation for someone to love, then his mind went back to her, Perrie, and he just lost it.

"Perrie was such a bitch" his voice carrying 6 months of misery

"I mean who leaves someone when their father just died? Who is inhumane enough to not get how hard it is to lose one's father? How could she leave me like that?" All bitterness and sorrow spewing out of his mouth.

"Someone who couldn't love you properly" Liam retorts

"A fucking slut that's what she is." Liam just sighed and said " Tell me about her"

"I don't want to talk about Perrie." Liam interjects "Not her, your character tell me about her"

Zayn gives a relieved sigh and says "It’s a he" Liam doesn't flinch just gives a reassuring gesture to give  Zayn the chance to talk.

"Niall, Niall James Horan. he was born in Mullingar Ireland. He was an only child, his first crush was Michael Buble and Gene Simmons. Yes Gene Simmons, he was always a simple person. Niall loved music as much as he loves art, he plays the guitar with his right hand even though he is left handed. He was never really lucky in love, always dating douche bags who never treated him properly, but Niall always fought back and always left marks to remind his exes to not mess with him. He loves drinking beer and Irish Cream and he has a stomach that you could compare to a black hole." Zayn pauses for a moment just the thought of him sent tingles down his spine " And he knows that a change is coming."

Liam releases himself from his silence and says "How?"

"Well he's been looking for it" Zayn states nonchalantly

******

Zayn opened his door sweat dripping everywhere, Louis not far behind him Hatchi in tow. 

"Honey we’re back!" Louis screams

Harry comes out of the kitchen wearing his " I like it long and hard" apron his curls in a disarray

"Harry i think you and Louis should revamp your clothing unless you want to scar your daughter fro life" Louis chuckles and says

"I actually would like to scar my daughter for life, not-scorn children are the worst all happy and giddy and annoying, the scorn kids are the best always so mature for their age"

"SHHHH" Harry squeaks and swats Louis' arm

"I just put Darce to sleep and if she wakes up I swear to God Lou, you won't get this sweet ass tonight." and with that Louis lips stood still not a sound escaping his lips

All Zayn could say was " Horny bastards" Harry just smirks at Zayn

"Hey I’m making Chilli tonight and your welcome for cleaning your stove" Zayn gave Harry a sweet smile but it was not seen as Louis was now assaulting Harry with his lips saying something like "Why is my boy so fucking perfect"

Zayn just escapes to his room and takes a shower

When he gets down he goes into the fridge to look for some milk when he realizes a very peculiar bottle sitting on the top shelf, a bottle of Irish Cream. 

"Hey Louis did you bring any Irish Cream over when you came?' Zayn asks Louis who at present was bouncing a jubilant Darcy on his lap and placing soft kisses to her soft skin.

"Irish Cream, I don't even remember the last time I've drank Irish Cream, so no my dear sir" 

Zayn just dismisses this as a wrong purchase from the grocery.

*****

Zayn and Louis were lounging on the pool, Louis deep in Zayn's manuscripts. Zayn waiting for Louis comments. Louis finishes his reading and faces Zayn with a stern look in his eye.

"Are you sure about this?" Zayn looks at Louis incuriously and says

"What, why not?"

"Zayn you're describing a boy, your perfect boy, someone like this doesn't exit" Zayn just looks at Louis his face showing the hurt he felt

"And why wouldn't he?' Louis just looks at him and says quite calmly

"He's perfect, your love life is perfect, its too Twilight, its so perfect that you can't see him anymore, he will always be just a figment, cause he's not humane." Zayn just looks at him dumbfounded

Louis just continues " He can't be this perfect, and to put it plainly you don't really know how it is to be in a relationship." Zayn was standing up when Louis grabs his wrist and says

"Please Zayn I'm just concerned for you, I don't need you to suffer a mental breakdown ok, I love you ok."  Zayn understands, he does but he can't severe his ties from Niall, not yet anyway. So he gives him a smile and murmurs "Love you too bro"

******

_After Louis and Harry leave and Zayn was left to his own devices he hurries to his typewriter and starts to type once more, a smiling Irishman already on his mind._

_"How do you eat this, its so sloppy?" Zayn inquires while trying to bite off a piece of his burger_

_Niall just chuckles and says "Ye shove up yer arse and let it rot in there"_

_Zayn just laughs at this, Niall had a thing with profanity he was always cursing or adding inappropriate things to the conversation, others might be offended by his crude sense of humour, but Zayn just loved it. He takes a large chunk of the burger and starts eating._

_"You're so not me type" Niall states like its the most obvious thing the world_

_"What do you mean I'm not your type" Zayn inquires eyebrows threatening to detach itself from his face_

_Niall laughs, and Niall always laughs and Zayn could listen to his life his entire life and he still would be happy._

_"Well I go for more assertive guys." Niall says_

_"Hey I'm assertive" Niall just snorts_

_"Yeah and I'm part African, yer not assertive ye twat, yer stubborn that's different" Zayn just smiles at him._

_"Are you gonna finish that?" Niall says eyes hungrily boring unto Zayn's burger_

_"Knock yourself out" Zayn says handing Niall his burger._

_Niall just devours his burger while giving Zayn toothy smiles, after finishing the burger in what seemed like 5 seconds Niall says " You know one of my exes told me I eat too much and that I was gonna get fat"_

_"Why would you date a guy like that, I love how you eat every single thing that edible and sometimes inedible, its cute" Niall blushes a deep crimson and says_

_"Well I was young, it was an experience, an experience I don't want to do again but it was an experience nonetheless"_

_" So you're attracted to doushiness?" Niall just looks at Zayn and says_

_"I don't know, maybe I was just looking for you" A smile gracing his lips._

_"Just took me a while to find you" Niall finishes, blue eyes boring into amber and Zayn was leening in getting ready to kiss his face off cause he was just so perfect and cute and everything Zayn wanted and needed. He was in love with Niall but before he could lean any closer Niall was already on his feet leaping clothes and all into the pool._

_"Come in the pool ya tosser!" he calls_

_Zayn blatantly obliges running straight into the deep blue of the pool. And in that moment Zayn was happy, complete bliss, everything was falling into place his life was complete and he had to thank Niall cause he was so happy._

_Now they're sitting on the edge of the pool covered in towels Nialls head on Zayn's shoulder. Basking in the silence of the night while staring at the unknown up above them._

_Niall breaks the silence "What did ya think when ya first saw me?"_

_"I thought you were the cutest most amazing thing I ever laid my eyes one" Zayn replies the words tasting like honey in his mouth so sweet and decadent on his tongue_

_"Were you disappointed when you got to know me?" Niall inquires_

_And Zayn stiffens his arms around Niall and kisses his cheek so softly and chastely before saying_

_"Why would you say that?"_

_"Cause I'm a mess" Niall says flatly_

_"Well I love your mess" Zayn says his voice trickling with love_

_"The first time I saw you I thought, My god look at that fine piece of arse, I am going to love him and cherish him and take care of him forever and ever and ever" Niall grins his face threatening to split._

_"What if you get sick of me?" Zayn asks_

_Niall just attaches his lips to Zayn's and says "I won't, I promise"_

RING RING RING!

Zayn is awaken by his cell phone ringing, he had slept while writing, he looks at his watch and sees that it was 2:30 and remembers that he had an appointment with Liam at 2:00, reeling he was 30 minutes late for his session and that it was probably Liam calling he scrambles to look for his phone running to his bedroom and finding it on his dishevelled sheets. Zayn answers it quickly whilst putting on the first things he can see while explaining to Liam what happened and that he was going to be there in about 15 minutes. While going down he notices Hatchi was waiting in the doorway clearly needing to go out and do his business, as he explains to Liam about being an extra 5 minute delay he was interrupted by a familiar Irish brogue "I can do it"

And Zayn thinks he's crazy, he thinks he's going insane because he's hearing Niall in his head, but when he glances to the sound of the voice he sees Niall, it was Niall with his perfect blond hair and his perfect milky white skin, his perfect Irish accent and his perfect everything and Zayn can't believe it and and he's interrupted again by that angelic voice

"Babe, I missed you last night in bed" He says innocently and Zayn couldn't take it anymore it was a sensory overload and the next thing he knows he's seeing black but not before hearing Niall scream "Zayn, babe!'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I get enough feedback I'll continue this :D


	3. I Just Can't Believe You're Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Darling? What’s happening are you ok” Niall’s asked his voice laced with concern then he reached out to touch Zayn, to give him a reassuring hand and he rubbed Zayn’s arm. Zayn jerked violently, he felt Niall, he felt the soft hand caressing his skin and now he was sure to be driven straight to a mental institute because he was not only seeing and talking to Niall but he could also feel Niall, and that was a new world of crazy.

Zayn felt dazed his eyesight was blurred his head was pounding and his neck was stiff. Then it dawned on Zayn what had happened, the unexplainable event that he had just witnessed Niall standing in his kitchen only wearing Zayn’s button- down shirt and a pair of boxers. That was the point when he fainted, then it registered in Zayn’s mind maybe he was just dreaming, he was just tired and it just so happened that he had a moment of delusion imagining Niall in his house. That is until Zayn hears a squeal “Babe! You’re finally awake; I was worried sick about you, what happened?”

Zayn peered at the direction of the voice, that oh so sexy Irish voice and founds its owner in no less than a pair of boxers and an apron. And Zayn just gawked at the sight taking in his features and analysing the circumstance that he was in, he was going crazy, he was going to be put in a mental institute he was a wreck a mental wreck. And he was just so lost because he didn’t want to see Niall, he didn’t want to be a cracker. But he was; and it was a point of no return

“My God, I’m going insane, oh my god, shit shit shit!” Zayn rambled placing in his face in the palms of his hands

“Darling? What’s happening are you ok” Niall’s asked his voice laced with concern then he reached out to touch Zayn, to give him a reassuring hand and he rubbed Zayn’s arm. Zayn jerked violently, he felt Niall, he felt the soft hand caressing his skin and now he was sure to be driven straight to a mental institute because he was not only seeing and talking to Niall but he could also feel Niall, and that was a new world of crazy.

Zany knew he had to keep calm and he had to call Louis, “Niall uhh, I’ll just be in my office, I just remembered I had something to do, ok”

Niall gave Zayn a questioning look and said “Well I’ll just be downstairs making some breakfast” and with that Niall left Zayn to himself.

Zayn frantically reached for his phone and dialled Louis number

“Louis! Louis!” Zayn whispered

“Yes Zayn, can you make it quick I have rehearsals in 5”

“Well you know how mom said that I had an overactive imagination? Well I’m kind of seeing Niall” Zayn said quite frantically

“What? Are you saying that Niall’s in your house” Louis retorted

“Yes and it’s freaking me out because I can see him and hear him and touch him, he’s making breakfast as we speak” Zayn yells

“That can’t be Zayn, because Niall’s not real, he’s a figment of your imagination!” Louis say panicking for his brother’s sanity.

“I know he’s not real but he’s here and I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do Louis”

“Ok, Zayn I have to go but do me a favour go out, hang with a friend anyone who can’t see your imaginary boyfriend ok, and if it doesn’t get better by tonight we can talk about it ok” Louis say calmly

At this Zayn seem to get his normal breathing pattern back and his mind starting to think more composedly he moved to his contact books searching for someone anyone to see, to get away from Niall. Then he remembered in one of his book signing this crazed fan who kept on following him throughout that day gave him his phone number and told Zayn to call him any time he was available. Zayn made a bee line for the phone having no room for any of his preferences. He hastily dialled the number and asked if he could meet him in a nearby café in 15 minutes the boy agreed with too much excitement for Zayn’s liking but he did not have choice at this point. So he put on a white tee and a black skinnies and a pair of chucks. He moved silently downstairs evading any type of object which would make too much noise, he didn’t see Niall in the dining room, there was a plate of bacon and eggs fashioned to make a smiley face on the table steam still seeping out of the plate. Zayn cautiously got his keys out of the key bowl and tip toed to the door only to be halted by a fully dressed Niall chewing on a piece of bacon.

“Where are you going” Niall asked curiously

Zayn glanced at Niall and was just frustrated at what he saw because he was just so perfect, Niall was wearing a red polo which hugged his tiny frame oh o beautifully, he was wearing a pair of beige chinos which hugged his ass in all the right places to finish it all of he was wearing a simple pair of supras.

“Well, I’m going to the store to get some stuff” Zayn said quite softly

“Oh can I come?” Niall asks innocently his bacon smeared lips forming a smile

“Ummm no its ok” Niall kind looked disappointed but persisted

“Why not?” he questioned

“It umm, no” Zayn repeats

“Please” Niall pleads his blue eyes shining with anticipation and Zayn had to resist those eyes, he had to resist those beautiful eyes and that pout, he was on the verge of saying a no once again but all coherent thoughts were destroyed with what Niall did next

He bit his lip, and he looked at Zayn with the most pleading eyes his expression downcast and his voice just desperate with a final “Please?”

_*****_

Zayn was currently driving to a nearby café, trying so hard to ignore the bouncing Irishman beside him. Though Zayn wanted so badly to be with Niall, how badly he wanted to kiss him and cuddle with him and wake up to his godly face, Zayn knew he would could and would be just in his imagination. He was his creation a perfect creation he so wanted to accept to be here in front of him looking outside the window and giving Zayn glances and smiles. But it couldn’t be true, this wasn’t fiction, this wasn’t a book, it was reality and even though Zayn wanted Niall so badly he knew he couldn’t have him. Then Niall did something that just made Zayn question everything factual in the world. Niall turned on the radio and switched it into Zayn’s favourite radio station, Zayn just stared at the radio then back at Niall, was he imagining all this, did Niall just really touch the radio and put into the radio station. Then Niall spoke

 

“Why are you so shocked, I know you love this radio station, you listen to it all the time, and this is one of your favourite ones right?” Niall smiled trying to put a smile on Zayn’s face

And Niall was right, because currently playing one of Zayn’s favourite songs, “Baby I’m A Fool” by Melody Gardot and Zayn was just gave Niall a small smile and put his attention back to the road, putting the magical moment of internal delusion to the back of his mind and he tried to enjoy the music but listening to the lyrics he just bathed in the irony of his situation.

_Look me in the eye and tell me_

_Love is never based upon insanity_

_Even when my heart is beating_

_Hurry up the moment's fleeting_

_Kiss me now, don't ask me how_

_'Cause, baby, I'm a fool_

_Who thinks it's cool to fall_

_Baby, I'm a fool_

_Who thinks it's cool to fall_

_And I would never tell if you became a fool_

_And fell in love_

He has fallen in love with Niall, and Niall was in love with him, if only it was that easy.

Zayn parked near the café and disembarked from his car, he started walking towards the café Niall following beside him, then Niall started talking

“Hey Zayn, they’re showing a Zombie marathon in the cemetery tomorrow you want to go? We can take shots whenever someone gets bitten.”

Zayn just ignored Niall, not missing the way just slumped beside Zayn, his feet dragging through the pavement, head facing the ground shoulders slouched.

“Hey Niall, I just have to meet with a friend can you like wait for a bit?” Zayn asked

“Huh!? What do you expect me to do hear”

“Umm I don’t know appreciate the shops.” And with that Zayn left a frowning Niall alone on the sidewalk

*******

Zayn sat down across the brunette he recognized as the one from his signing, he was fit Zayn could say that but he was no Niall.

Zayn greeted the boy and they ordered their food.

After a short silence Josh started talking

“I can’t believe you’re here, I mean when I gave you my number I thought you like lost it or something”

Zayn trying to be polite tried to appease Josh’s curiosity

“Well I started writing after you gave me your number so I haven’t really been going out”

This sparked Josh’s curiosity more his eyes glistening with excitement, he had a gargantuan grin on his face which Zayn thought looked like a demon finding his new victim to dehumanize.

“Is it like, ummm about me? Am I in it?”

Zayn didn’t like where this conversation was going so he just answered him with a curt

“Umm, I can’t really share that information”

Josh just nods in understanding but pesters Zayn once more.

“Well if ever I am in the book, you’ll tell me right, because I’m a pretty interesting guy, I can be one of your characters”

“You’re not in the book, nor will you ever be any of my books ok” Zayn says snaps with so much venom in his speech that he thought Josh would stand up and punch him, which Zayn wouldn’t mind just as he would leave. But somehow that didn’t offend Josh, it actually convinced him to try to persuade Zayn more, telling him that he had a very interesting stamp collection and he was pretty philosophical stating that “He was not therefore He would not”

Zayn was just confused, did he say it wrong, but he couldn’t have phrased that in a way that would have made it more offensive than it already was. He was about to correct Josh on his inaccurate reference to Descartes but was interrupted by a very loud, very angry Niall shouting

“Zayn!! Oi! Who the fuck is that!”

Zayn was just going to ignore Niall, try to concentrate on Josh rambling about his non-existent muscles but he noticed the annoying brunette wasn’t talking anymore. He was staring at Niall, but why would he stare at Niall, he wasn’t real, he was in Zayn’s head there was no possible way that Josh could see Niall.

Then Josh did the thing that Zayn wanted so badly to hear and not to hear

“Do you know him?”

And that hit Zayn, Josh could see Niall, he was real, he wasn’t just a hallucination he wasn’t the boy in his dreams anymore. Niall was a tangible being, a breathing Homo sapiens, he was real and Zayn was just beaming until he registered the events occurring in front of his eyes.

Niall was fuming his usual smile was gone only to be replaced with a scowl nastier than anything Zayn has ever seen.

Niall stopped in front of the pair of boys; all eyes were trained on the riled Irishman as he screamed

“What the actual fuck is this!! Who are you!?”

Josh just asks Zayn again

“Do you know him?”

Niall just snaps at this

“Does he know me!? Excuse me that’s my fucking boyfriend your flirting with you fucking manwhore.”

Boyfriend, Zayn’s heart took a leap out of his body when he heard that. Niall was his boyfriend this perfect little angry leprechaun was his and his only. He notice though that Josh stands up and runs away from the raging Irsishman.

“What is wrong with you Zayn, I knew something was up, you’ve been acting so weird all moring! You fucking twat!” With this Niall splashed Zayn with a glass of water.

Zayn stood up grabbed the nearest human being and asked him “Can you see him?”

He held the strangers hand and let it touch Niall’s now crimson face, all his anger and frustration just seething out of his nostrils.

“Of course he see me Zayn what the actual fuck!” the stranger just pries himself out of Zayn’s grip and runs off.

“I thought you would be different!” Niall screeched for the enth time. Zayn was kind of going partially deaf from the exchanges, but disregards this as Niall starts storming away from the café. Zayn just registers this development into his particularly weird morning and runs shouting “Niall wait! Please come back! Niall!!”

Zayn catches up with Niall as he rounds the corner tears falling from his beautiful baby blue eyes. Zayn makes a grab for the frustrated boy and says “Niall please just listen to me!”

Niall shakes out of Zayn’s grasp

“No Zayn get away from me! Don’t talk to me!”

But Zayn didn’t stop he kept on grabbing Niall by the waist, then by the hand and at one point by the hair

“Niall please stop and listen to me!”

Niall just scoffs “No Zayn stop it! Get away from me!”

At this point they were attracting some unwanted attention from passer-by’s and he was just tired of their situation so Zayn charges towards Niall and grabs him by the waist lifting him up unto his shoulder and carrying Niall to a corner fireman style.

“Zayn no stop it! Stop it!”

Zayn puts Niall down and pins him to the wall and cups his cheeks.

“Niall please listen, please just listen ok.” Zayn pleads, Niall calms down and Zayn can see his face now more clearly, Niall’s face was beet red, his eyes were blood shot and swollen, his face was livid with emotion and Zayn could see the tracks the tears left and he felt his heart break a little because he didn’t want to see Niall like this, he never wanted to see the pain and sorrow in those eyes anymore so Zayn starts “Niall, there are a lot of things that are confusing me right now, so many things that I can’t fully understand and I’m just going through some things ok” Zayn says all his pent up emotion spewing out of his lips.

“Then talk to me about it, don’t go on a fucking date with a random twat you pick up on the street” Niall say trying appease Zayn

“It wasn’t a date” Zayn replies still holding Niall’s cheeks

“What is wrong with you? What’s happening?”

“I don’t know, I’m so so sorry, but I’m just can’t perceive properly that you’re here, you in all your perfection” Zayn says while he grazes Niall’s lip with his thumb while Niall stares at him with loving eyes

“It’s because you’re mine, you’re all mine and I just can’t believe you’re here” Zayn finishes just looking into those oceanic orbs those gorgeous eyes which brought Zayn to his knees. While Zayn caresses Niall’s face, the supply skin so milky and tantilizing and it was all real and Niall was real and everything was good, he did not fully understand the situation but he didn’t question it he just stared at the splendour that was Niall.

Niall was also staring into Zayn’s eyes and gets impatient and says

“Kiss me you twat”

Zayn obliges crashing his lips to Niall and all intelligence was swept clean out of Zayn’s mind as he tried to find something to compare this kiss with this wet and wonderful kiss. Niall’s lips were firm and rough on Zayn’s but it was seamless the way their lips brushed against each other, pure flawlessness. Their lips were possessed in a myriad of dances, teeth were clanking and tongues were languidly moving in a thorough routine so muddled and entropic in its essence yet it felt so right.

And when they come up from their trance, Zayn leans his head on Niall and takes in Niall, takes in everything, because everything was too good to be true and Zayn just couldn’t believe he was here.

 


	4. Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life was perfect, to put it plainly, Zayn was in complete and utter bliss and he could only thank the amazing boy he was holding in his arms.

Life was perfect, to put it plainly, Zayn was in complete and utter bliss and he could only thank the amazing boy he was holding in his arms.

 

They were sitting in the cemetery watching the Zombie Film festival Niall suggested they watch when they went to the café the other day. After the apologies were in order the pair had experience a love affair only comparable to those picture perfect moments in the movies. They have been  inseparable since that magnificent kiss.

 

Zayn and Niall were currently on the blankets vodka at the ready for the beginning of the movie. Zayn held onto Niall the entire time sneaking kisses to the cheek and gently rubbing his back. Niall was just content with his position in his lover's arms feeding Zayn some of the food they’ve set up and just feeling his lover's presence. When the movie ended the pair just sat there looking at the stars hands entwined.

 

“Hey Zayn?” Niall cooed

 

“Yeah babe” Zayn answers quietly turning his head to the side to glance at his boyfriend

 

“Did you ever think about your life if we never met?” Niall questioned

 

Zayn’s mind was reeling, had Niall already known that he was created out of thin air? Did he question his actual existence, were there blank spots in his memory which would lead to him doubting his existence?

But Zayn pushed all this questions away as he looked at the shining cerulean eyes staring back at him and said.

 

“My life before you was dull; it was plain and blank, empty. You are the words to my story Niall, you are the inspiration of my life, I couldn’t bare a second without you anymore. I love you”

 

Zayn felt the words just slip from his mouth, it was so simple like breathing, telling all this to Niall, because Niall truly was everything, his life was empty before Niall and he never wanted it to go back to what it used to be. He wanted the color which Niall brought into him life, the vibrancy which Niall just exuded it was contagious and Zayn was hooked.

 

Niall looked at Zayn his eyes boring into the amber orbs, searching for doubt, searching for inhibition searching for a lie then Niall smiled and leaned in and gave Zayn the sweetest kiss he could give, so full of love and passion. They’re lips moved so languidly and so simply, everything so in synch that they couldn’t stop; it was only when they’ve thoroughly exhausted all their oxygen did they leave the kiss. They were huffing, their swollen lips forming into huge grins as they stared at each other instead of the stars, because the stars held wonder and beauty, while their eyes held love, beauty, wonder, joy, excitement and so much more so they decided eyes it is. And they stayed there till their eyes closed inviting sleep into their souls, eyes slowly closing and breathe slowly calming down into a soft almost inaudible murmur.

 

When they woke up arms tangled on each other’s bodies they felt in peace even though they were in a cemetery, they didn’t care they just enjoyed watching the sunrise on the horizon under their blanket Niall’s head leaning on Zayn’s shoulders and his arm around the tan boy’s waist. Zayn held Niall next to him enshrouding him in his arms, warmth spreading across both their cheeks.

The next day Niall had an idea to go to the arcade, he insisted because apparently Zayn acts too much like a grumpy old man sometimes. Zayn reluctantly agreed, because he couldn’t not agree to Niall's bright smile. To Zayn's surprise he thouroughly enjoyed going to the arcade, he felt freedom and joy and infinite like he could do anything when he was with Niall, he didn't have to worry about deadlines and writing he just lived.

During a heated shoot off between the boys Niall puts his gun down grabs Zayn's cheeks and kisses him with so much vigour and lust that lead Zayn to drop his gun and resume his kiss with Niall. They make out lips moving so hungrily, their tongues lashing in and out darting through the internal cavity of each others mouths, both boys melting from each other’s touch. Then Niall releases from the heated kiss and darts into a small photo booth, Zayn follows the excited blond and sits next to him in the booth re-enacting the previous scenario locking lips once again with his gorgeous boyfriend. They reignite their frivolous affair once again hands groping each other flesh touching flesh, milky whtie on caramel brown. Both were moans and sighs both their heads reeling with excitement and love. Their attempts were interrupted by a loud cough coming from an employee, the boys were escorted out the arcade and into the cold street.

"So my promiscuous friend where to next?' Zayn questions 

Then Niall spots a flurry of bright lights and sweaty bodies

"Want to dance my darling?" Niall chimes in

"It would be my pleasure dear sir" Zayn smiles

They sprint to the night club, once they get inside they head straight to the dance floor, a mass of sweaty bodies melding so smoothly with the rhythm of the moving beats and the exotic sound booming through the entire club. They dance letting the music move their bodies, Zayn then grabs Niall pulling him to his body, they dance together bodies moving in one motion, the people around them melting in the background, because right now it was them and the music, Zayn kisses Niall once more and holds him tightly as they dance the night away.

When they get home they made love, bodies moving so perfectly with each other both exploring their lovers bodies, the night was full of soft touches and lingering kisses as they felt the exhilarating ecstasy that comes with making love, the soft thrust and the passionate kisses and once they were finished and their breathes coming to a slow calm, Zayn held Niall so close and he traced kisses all over his face as Niall would chuckle at the affection and they would surrender to the sleep invading their bodies.

When Zayn woke up to the warmth beside him, he smiled fondly at the sleeping blond as he reached for his phone and called Louis; today was the day he introduced him to Niall

 


	5. I See Him, You See Him, We All See Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It may seem very out of this world and crazy, but I believe you and I cannot wait to meet him" Harry beams at Zayn giving him cheeky grin in the process, Zayn gave him an appreciative smile, while Louis looks at him incredulously

They were seated in a rustic Mexican restaurant, Zayn was happily eating the nacho and guacamole, his face displaying a satisfied grin, he was chewing the chip so vigorously and reacting so exaggeratedly. Louis eyed his brother curiously because this was not the Zayn he saw three days ago, this was boy in front of him had a glint in his eyes, a unmistakable glimmer which made him look so calm and content. His face looked so much brighter, his lips were plumper and always in a wide grin. He had a weird glow to him, he also had a softer complexion his prominent cheekbones looked different somehow, not as if he got fatter, but he had roundness, a fullness to his body and all in all Zayn looked absolutely blissful and something else Louis could relate to, something he felt every single time he saw Harry, Zayn was in love. That was why he looked so happy, that is why it seems as if everything is all good in this world. Because Zayn was irrevocably in love and Louis was concerned, not because Zayn was in love, but it was who Zayn was in love with. Apparently after calling Louis that time he thought he was imagining Niall in his house it turned out he was real and now Zayn wanted to introduce Niall to him and Harry.

The couple were currently staring at Zayn their faces etched with curiosity, confusion and disbelief. Harry was the first to break the heavy silence that had fallen on the three.

"It may seem very out of this world and crazy, but I believe you and I cannot wait to meet him" Harry beams at Zayn giving him cheeky grin in the process, Zayn gave him an appreciative smile, while Louis looks at him incredulously

"Zayn I'm really happy that you're happy but do you expect me to believe that Niall, the boy you created in your head is real" Louis asks quite pointedly at Zayn

"Yes, we walk Hatchi and stuff; he's really friendly, sometimes too friendly actually." Zayn answers happily, he knew that Louis was going to have doubts about Niall, hell Zayn almost lost him because he didn't believe his existence, but he was surprised with Harry's immediate acceptance of Niall, maybe because he was so deeply in love with Louis he knew how it felt to be in love and he knew how love looked and he saw himself in the tan boy, but Zayn also knew he was going to keep quiet when Louis was going to tell Zayn off because Harry already knew that Louis was going to be concerned, because Louis saw Zayn differently, he grew up with Zayn and he knows all of Zayn's quirks and he was very protective of him. So Harry sat next to Louis his hand in interlinked with his lovers as he watched pensively at the events occurring before him.

"Zayn this is impossible" Louis states his words lost in his racing concerns for Zayn's sanity, becauase he wanted Zayn to be happy, but he didn't want Zayn to face the ridicule of being labeled crazy, because he had enough of that already when he was young, but after the book and all his success Louis though it wouldn't come back anymore, he wouldn't have feel alienated again. Though he knew that doing this would help Zayn see things clearly he was also beating himself up because Zayn was happy, even if it wasn't normal, he was not that perpetually harassed writer who looked like he was about to burst, he was Zayn again and Louis hated fighting this Zayn.

"Apparently its not" Zayn states plainly not bothering the concerned look his brother was giving him.

"Have you told Liam?" Louis questions

"Ummm well-" Zayn mumbles

"You do know he's there for these kind of things" Louis points out

"I only told Liam that Niall was a character I was working on, he wouldn't believe me" Zayn answers quite dejectedly

"Zayn you have to tell him you can't seriously make me believe that Niall is in your house, right now as I am speaking to you" Louis says”

********

Zayn, Louis and Harry stand before Zayn's house the evening breeze moving in the darkness blowing soft gushes on the trio as Zayn says "Umm before I forget he doesn't know I wrote him so don't mention anything about it" both nod in acknowledgment as Zayn puts his key in and enters the  house. 

"Niall babe I'm back" Zayn screams

Louis marches to the hallway waves at nothing and says "Hello Niall nice to meet you" 

He motions himself to grab Harry and leave but before he could do anything else a flurry of blond hair zooms past him and leaps into Zayn's arms

"You're back" Niall smiles into Zayn's neck as he tightly embraces the man before him.

Louis just stares at Niall in utter amazement as Harry gives him a triumphant smirk

"Niall this is Louis my brother and Harry his boyfriend" Zayn gestures to the two visitors

"Oh hi Louis! Zayn's told me so much about you!" Niall says joyfully while engulfing Louis in a bone crunching hug he does the same greeting to Harry, when he was finished he walked toward the kitchen and asks the couple "Are you guys staying for dinner? I’m making my Mam's meatloaf" Niall asks ecstatically

"He's a great cook" Zayn adds his eyes falling on his boyfriend admiring how cute he was looking today

"We'd love to" Harry answers while giving Niall and appreciative grin. Niall retreats to the kitchen leaving the three to their own devices, Louis grabs Zayn and brings him out to the balcony Harry following in their wake.

"What kind of joke do you think is this, did you hire an actor or something, because this isn't funny Zayn" Louis states hysterically when they get out of earshot of Niall.

"I told you he just appeared out of nowhere!" Zayn says 

"Boo maybe what Zayn is saying is true, because from he does fit all Zayn's descriptions" Harry adds his hand soothing Louis stiff shoulders

"No Zayn you are not God, you can't make people out of thin air" Louis retorts 

"I know, but he did, he's here, he's breathing, he's cooking us dinner, I don't fucking understand why, love, magic something but what I do know is that I love him" Zayn finishes all his emotions spewing out of his body.

Louis takes out his phone and starts to dial

"What are you doing?" Zayn asks eyeing the phone cautiously

"I'm calling Dr. Payne" Louis snaps

"NO!! Louis please listen to me please" Zayn says grabbing the phone from Louis

"Boo please I really think you should calm down and listen to what Zayn has to say" Harry quips his arms enveloping Louis from behind, at the contact Louis visibly soothes down his eyes still eyeing Zayn.

"Do you remember what you said to me when you met Harry?" Zayn asks 

Louis looks at him curiously while Harry's head shoots up his eyes looking at Zayn with excitement so longing to hear what Louis initially felt when he met him.

"I didn't pretend to make him up that's for sure" Louis interjects starkly this was followed by a swat to the head from  Harry

"Let him finish!" Harry snaps as he gestures for Zayn to continue

"You said Harry was your dream, you told me he was perfection manifested, he was everything you wanted and more and you wanted nothing more to hold him in your arms every single day." Harry blushes a deep crimson at the speech that he heard

"Is that true?" he asks Louis knowing full well it was because it sounded so much like him

"Let him finish" Louis says playfully at him, Harry just gives him a deep kiss and says "I love you Boo" while he nuzzles himself in Louis neck

"I love you too Haz, now Zayn please do finish" 

"Well that's how I feel about Niall, he's everything and so much more" Zayn finishes

"Ok so let's say you did create Niall, so everything you wrote about him came true?" Louis asked Zayn a plan brewing in his head.

"Yeah" Zayn says his eyes narrowing at Louis' weird question

"Have you tried writing again?" Louis asks once more

"No" Zayn answers his eyes now looked like slits glaring at Louis questioning his motives

"Ok, write about him" Louis says a devious smirk forming from his lips

"What no he's perfect" Zayn face shocked at Louis' proposal

"Boo I know that look, what are you planning?" Harry questions Louis

"To prove that he really did come from the typewriter if what you write becomes real then fine I'll believe you, but if it doesn't we'll call the cops" Louis finished, realization hit the two boys. At this they enter the house once again.

"Babe I'll just show the boys something okay" Zayn tells Niall, in response he gives Zayn a curt nod and a smile before saying "Be quick though, foods almost done"

The men move to Zayn's study where he's kept the manuscript of Niall, he pulls out the thick ream of paper, he fishes for the page where he last wrote about Niall, he carefully placed it in the typewriter rotating the knob until it reached the blank space at the end of the page.

"This is where I last wrote, so now what?" Zayn questions a pondering Louis, striding the room slowly while Harry stood behind Zayn curious as to what Louis was putting together in his devilish mind.

"Ahh I got it!" Louis strides quickly to Zayn's side as he whispers something into Zayn's ear

As Zayn types it onto the typewriter Harry's eyes widened in anticipation. Zayn finished his sentence placing the last period then a call was heard echoing throughout the house.

"Comida está lista!"

The three boys look at each other with shocked faces, all three bolted down the stairs into the kitchen to find Niall putting the finishing touches on the food.

"Oh ahí estás,podría ayudarme a llevar esto a la mesa?" Niall questions the three handing them some of the plates 

All three were too shocked to do anything, Niall was talking fluent Spanish and none of them understood a word he said. Louis was just standing there arms stiff, he had a hideous grin on his face, a mix between a serial killer and a child opening presents during Christmas. Harry was biting back the urge to just fall to the ground and laugh while Zayn's mouth was open staring at the now Spanish speaking Irishman before him.

A "Detener la mirada y llevar estos platos a la mesa estúpido!" followed by a flurry of curses Zayn could not understand, Louis nudged Zayn to bring back the English speaking Niall, so Zayn excused himself from the awkward situation, not before hearing a worried Niall scream "Zayn a dónde vas." Zayn ran straight for his typewriter and wrote to undo the predicament he was in. After finishing the sentence and grabbing a bottle of wine to ward of suspicion he made his was downstairs to all three boys sitting in the dining table awaiting Zayn's return.

The dinner went off without a hitch, Harry and Louis were entranced with Niall, they actually might have fallen in love with Niall too, but who wouldn't he was just so lovable. The night went smoothly as they talked about Niall's past to his interests and hobbies and Zayn spent half of it staring at Niall, cause that was all he wanted to do. 

When they were about to leave Louis pulled Zayn to the side and whispered in his ear

"Take advantage of the situation and enjoy it okay, I want to see you this happy all the time" Zayn smiles at this and responds "I will, I'll enjoy every second of it"

After packing up Zayn heads to his study and looks at the manuscript before him realizing how much power he had on Niall, he could make Niall do anything he wanted, everything right beneath his fingertips. But Zayn wanted Niall as he was, everything he was, so he got the large clump of paper and put into a drawer locking it with a little key, hoping he wouldn't ever find the need to unlock it. Just before turning back to bed he hears soft footsteps coming toward him, he turns to see a tired looking Niall dressed in a white cotton shirt and black boxers. The blond looks at Zayn and asks "So, did they like me?" 

Zayn looks at Niall and thinks, who couldn't love you, who couldn't appreciate the perfectness that is you, who would think ill of Niall, he was Zayn's special snowflake because anyone who would think negatively off Niall was mentally ill, so Zayn just simply opened his arms for Niall to sit in his lap and whispers "Of course baby, they loved you" he finished with his lips on Niall breathing in the joy Niall brought into his life.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *DISCLAIMER* 
> 
> I can not and will not ever be fluent in Spanish, all those lines were taken straight from google translate, I just added it for the authenticity is all. You can get what Niall's saying from the description itself or if you want I can google translate it if you want to know :D


	6. The Realm Of Uncertainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not in the mood Zayn." he snapped
> 
> "Zayn just laid there facing away from Niall as he let regret fill his heart. Then Niall spoke again
> 
> "Zayn, I think I'm going to work at the new cafe, they have some openings" 
> 
> "But I told I would support you for as long as you need" Zayn replied
> 
> "I know but you know to get some space from us is all" Niall voiced

The sun was dancing on Zayn's auburn skin the heat permeating the thick glass of the car, the heat caressing hid face allowing trickles of sweat to trickle down his chiselled features. To his right Niall was   playing with his phone his position reminding Zayn of an enigmatic three year old. The tan boy tried to distract Niall while waiting in the afternoon traffic swatting his hand over the phone. Niall let out a childish whine while trying to avoid Zayn's assault. Then in the middle of their immature war of the phone, it suddenly starts ringing, Niall accidentally answers it and out comes the blaring sound of Zayn's mom, Tricia.

"Hello! Hello Zayn?" voices the phone

"Hi mom" Zayn sullenly replies

"Just came to check if you're coming this weekend?" Tricia says

"I told you we can't go this weekend, we're busy" Zayn indignantly replies

Niall looks at Zayn with a questioning look, he mouths a "We're busy?"

Zayn looks at Niall and gives a curt nod, the blond gives his boyfriend a weird expression then looks at the road once more. 

"What? But Louis said that you haven't been writing" the phone goes on

"Louis doesn't know what I'm doing ok" Zayn expresses

"Well when can we meet him? You've been going out with him for months, and you haven't introduced him to us, it’s like he doesn't exist." Tricia voices 

"Soon" Zayn states plainly

"Well why don't you bring him over this weekend, Louis and Harry is coming."

Niall looks at Zayn pleading him to accept the offer

"We have plans ok, I'll call you later ok I'm driving." he then shuts the phone off 

Niall was giving Zayn a defeated look, his eyes showing the embarrassment and surrender, he did not want to bother Zayn with this problem, but he felt so insignificant, was he not enough? Was Zayn embarrassed of him? These question plagued Niall's mind while succumbed into a confused silence.

*****

The silence was unnerving for Zayn as he motioned himself to his bedroom, Niall hadn't been talking to him the entire day after his talk with his mother, it wasn't that he was embarrassed of Niall, on the contrary he was too proud of Niall, he was so selfish didn't want to share Niall with anybody else, he loved this boy sitting so silently on his bed staring into the unknown.

It was he had a very apparent disdain from his mother's new lifestyle, she changed so much after his father's death, she found a new beau a Mexican by the name of Paul, he was caramel skinned and ripped, he was a wood worker, he lived a veracious life, filled with romance, he changed how his mother lived, the once conservative housewife was now a proprietor of sexual portraits and 'medicinal' herbs and now lives in a beach house in West Wittering.

To state it plainly Zayn did not agree with the new adventurous lifestyle his mother lead, and he didn't want to be sucked into it. Because Zayn was his father's son, he was organized and neat; he was a stubborn man who tried his best to control the chaos that is life. He did not concede to anyone though he was timid, he always wanted his life to be logical and unquestionable, the only exception to this being Niall, the one who brought entropic discourse into Zayn's life, the one who made life unmistakably bright and spontaneous. As it is written in fiction Niall was Zayn's foil, he was the one who by contradiction highlighted the qualities the main presented, yet Niall fit perfectly, the contradiction he represented created a harmonious union of recklessness and control, of order and chaos, and of anarchy and peace. 

Now Zayn was looking at the defeated boy in front of him, the blond looking into the blank nothingness of space. His posture and expression was so bent, so small that it hurt his heart. Zayn was relieving himself of his pants when the trance ridden Niall's voice filled the empty darkness.

"Why can't we go to your mothers?" his voice filled with doubt and uncertainty as he looked into the hazel eyes of his boyfriend.

"I told you I'm busy" Zayn lied, his eyes averting the cerulean ones as he stood there in front of Niall.

"With what? Are you writing again?" Niall asked his voice filling with a sense of hope, his heart yearning for a reason to not doubt his place in Zayn's life.

"No, I'm just busy ok." Zayn answered plainly as he shut off the lights extinguishing the hurt expression plastered on the blonde’s face. He climbed unto the bed and wrapped his arms around Niall only to be swatted away by the reluctant man.

"I'm not in the mood Zayn." he snapped

"Zayn just laid there facing away from Niall as he let regret fill his heart. Then Niall spoke again

"Zayn, I think I'm going to work at the new cafe, they have some openings" 

"But I told I would support you for as long as you need" Zayn replied

"I know but you know to get some space from us is all" Niall voiced

At these words Zayn visibly froze, Niall wanted space from Zayn; he was becoming displeased with how Zayn was treating him. Then it hit Zayn, his baby thought he was ashamed of him. But in all truth it was the other way around. He could not lose Niall, not when he was so happy. Zayn got up quietly from the bed and moved to his laptop and after about 5 minutes of clicks he ventured back to his bed as he pondered about the next day, as the silence engulfed his senses sending him to a soundless slumber. 

****

Niall woke up to feel for Zayn lying next to him only to find and empty space before him. Niall slowly opened his eyes to reveal the soft satin of the queen sized bed and no Zayn. He heard a bit of shuffling from his left to find the tan packing up a bag, confused about the events unravelling before him Niall asks with a sleepy tone

"Babe what are you doing?"

Zayn flashes Niall a smile and says "Well babe I'm packing for West Wittering, you better start packing cause so we can catch our flight" his eyes giving Niall a knowing look.

Niall's face formed into a gargantuan smile, displaying his pearly whites his sprung out of bed and tackled Zayn to the ground peppering him with sweet kisses on his face and neck. His unmasked glee filling the room with warmth and life, as Zayn's gaze trailed to the excited Irishman he couldn't help but smile at his good fortune.

****

Niall and Zayn were seated in the waiting area of Heathrow, Niall suddenly became uncharacteristically silent, he looked very slightly pale and his head sagging. Zayn looked at his immobile boyfriend and questioned the actions the boy was portraying, then it hit him, Niall was afraid of heights.

Niall disregarded the inevitable plane ride that morning while he was packing, too overjoyed with the events that transpired. Only when he got here must be when he felt the impending plane ride ahead of him, knowing he will be hundreds of thousands of feet in the air. Niall visibly cringed at the thought. Zayn noticed this and said

"Niall it’s going to be ok, it’s only a few hours and I'll be right here the entire time don't you worry." Niall faced Zayn his eyes filled appreciation as he heard the encouraging words, he merely laid his head on Zayn's shoulders as he waited for their flight to be called, his heartbeat calming to the gentle breaths of the Pakistani, his heart rate resonating harmoniously with Zayn's. 

 They heard the robotic ding from the bouncing delicately across the large waiting room, the voice bringing Niall into a dark state of regress as he tried to cope with his deep seated fear of heights. Zayn motioned Niall to stand his strong arms gently bringing Niall to his feet. They moved slowly through the congested hall, the people slowly lining up before the gate. Niall’s heart was racing as they approached the lanky air hostess; her rhythmic rendition of thank you for flying with us caused jitters to travel throughout his body. He heart was pounding heavily in his chest as he moved toward the counter Zayn’s arm resting on his waist being the only anchor he had to his sanity. Zayn could feel the small blond visibly trembling in his arms. Tremors of fear echoing through his fragile frame his face turning whiter than usual, the tinge of rosy pink absent from his cheeks, Niall stiffened when they finally reached the air hostess. She ceremoniously reached for their ticket and checked their boarding passes and passports, after everything was done; she gave the boys back their ids while giving them a smile and saying “Thank you for flying with us.” Niall almost puked right then and there. They reached their seats without further emotional meltdowns, Zayn sat by the window while Niall sat by the aisle, his eyes never opening.

“Babe we’ll be alright, don’t worry I’m just here” Zayn assured the quivering Niall

“It’s just I can’t, I can’t, Z-Z-Zayn, I can’t” Niall stuttered his entire had become so erratic now, quivering so intensely tears were forming in his eyes as he forced down the anxiety invading his body, he was waging a war against his body from completely shutting down, a battle he was slowly losing.

Zayn wrapped his arms as tight as he could around the shaking blond; he spoke sweet nothings into his ear as he swayed him back and forth, while lightly kissing his face. Niall steadied a bit while waiting for the plane to take off. He was starting to breathe normally when they heard a soft ding ricochet throughout the cabin. “We will be taking off shortly please put on your seatbelt and remain seated until the sign is turned off.” Her over enthusiastic voice said.

Niall started to breathe heavily again his heart started to race, and then he felt a slight jerk from below. Then he realized they were moving. The motion of the plane being mimicked by Niall’s stomach, he felt a great lurch and grabbed for the barf bag trying to prepare him for the worst as the plane sped down the runway. He felt his body press against the leather seat as they gained speed. Zayn’s hand still holding Niall’s tightly. Niall concentrated on Zayn’ touch a plane bounced and lifted itself from the ground. Niall felt a great upheaval in his abdomen as he withdrew his hands from Zayn’s and pulled the bag to his face spewing out everything he could. Once Niall was finished puking, Zayn carefully wiped his boyfriends face clean and held unto him tightly giving he reassurances that he just went through the worst part, everything else was going to  be smooth. Niall put his head on Zayn’s chest and listened to the smooth beat of Zayn’s heart, the metronome calming Niall down and bringing him to reality. The soft thuds letting warmth spread out his body.

“I’m sorry love” Niall said sheepishly

“And why are you apologizing?” Zayn inquired

“For being such a burden, I know you really don’t want to go to your mom’s but you still did it for me, then now I’m puking and crying for a stupid irrational fear of heights.” Niall sighed sadly

“It’s not your fault Niall!” Zayn scolded him

“We all have fears Niall and you selflessly tried to be strong for me, because you didn’t want me to worry, but that’s why I love you Niall, I would never have gone to my mother anyway if it wasn’t for you, so it’s a good thing” Zayn smiled while giving Niall a soft peck to the lips.

“I love you Z” Niall said

“Never get tired of me please” He pleaded his blue eyes piercing through the amber ones

“Never” Zayn smiled contentedly as he wrapped his arms around Niall and enveloping him in a passionate kiss.

The rest of the flight went smoothly after take-off, Niall’s emotional breakdown left him spent, all his energy drained from his body, now he was slumbering peacefully on Zayn’s arm. Zayn was just staring at the soft complexion of the Irishman as his soft snores reached his hears, he couldn’t help but laugh at what had happened, Niall was truly humane, he had doubts and fears just like every human being, it was very surprising for Zayn as he saw this new ide of his boyfriend so vulnerable and small, it was scary to say the least as he recalled the face of the broken boy he was holding only just moments ago. This uplifted Zayn a bit, because Niall was imperfect, and that made him so much more desirable, but what scared Zayn was that yes, Niall had fears, but he also had doubts, and Zayn never wanted to give Niall any doubt about their relationship, Zayn now pondered on the small key lying in his safe at home, wondering if he was ever going to use it to open the drawer containing Niall’s soul.  

 


	7. The Weekend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know we can sleep somewhere else if you want, like a hotel or something, just the two of us” Zayn said nervously. Niall looked at him with a caring gaze, he reached for Zayn’s hand seeing a bit of reluctance in the boy, he squeezed his hand reassuringly and said “I love you, we’ll be alright” he smiled and gave Zayn a soft peck. Zayn was about to say something along the lines of you are so fucking perfect but was interrupted by a crash by his window, he jumped a bit to the sight of Jay Tomlinson flailing uncontrollably from the other end of the window

The wind blew vicariously through their hair as the thrum of the engine chorusing with the frazzled breeze, the constant ebb of the ocean caressing the air with a salty tinge. The sun pelted the two boys with rays of warmth as it illuminated the vast blue of the sky. The cloudless atmosphere breathing calm into the two boys as they sped down the highway on the rented jeep, Zayn peered closely at Niall who was carelessly basking in the afternoon heat and the fresh breeze. So far gone are they from the musky and dreary atmosphere of London and now were basking in the calming aura of the sea.

They neared a gate littered with overgrowth. The gate swung open to permit their eyes to see a fantastic garden with innumerable types of plants placed throughout the vast space, large trees encircled the lot before them almost causing it to look like a small forest. Niall peered at the sight before him and was branding an awed smile.

“Well we’re here” Zayn said nervously as he looked at Niall, because he really didn’t like coming to his mother’s house especially with Paul, he never saw eye to eye with his mother’s partner, while he was freedom and artistic and vicarious, Zayn was introverted,  a recluse and timid. He found that his mother’s lifestyle after his father’s death unnerving, he found himself unaccustomed to the unorthodox lifestyle which his mother lead. Don’t get him wrong Zayn didn’t hate Paul, because the Mexican was a very friendly and supportive of Zayn constantly encouraging Zayn with his writing. He just wasn’t that type of person, he wasn’t free willing and careless, unlike Louis, because Louis and Harry loved Paul they had similar hunger for adventure and spontaneity an aspect which Zayn lacked.

“You know we can sleep somewhere else if you want, like a hotel or something, just the two of us” Zayn said nervously. Niall looked at him with a caring gaze, he reached for Zayn’s hand seeing a bit of reluctance in the boy, he squeezed his hand reassuringly and  said “I love you, we’ll be alright” he smiled and gave Zayn a soft peck. Zayn was about to say something along the lines of  _you are so fucking perfect_  but was interrupted by a crash by his window, he jumped a bit to the sight of Jay Tomlinson flailing uncontrollably from the other end of the window, her auburn hair flying erratically from her place, her perfectly tanned skin being reflected by the sun, her dainty face shaped into an ecstatic smile, her features portraying a relaxed demeanour she looked nothing but happy as a flurry of incoherent sentences went blaring into Zayn’s ears as the enigmatic woman kept tapping on the tempered glass. Zayn opened the window to be assaulted with kisses as his mother squealed with pure uncontended joy.

“Zayniepoo you made it!” his mother squealed as she cupped his cheeks kissing it fervently as if seeing her son in years, after thoroughly covering her sons face with kisses she moved to the other side of the car to greet the nervous blond.

“Hello there Niall! I am so glad you could come, I’ve been waiting for ages to meet you” she smiled while engulfing the blond in a strangling hug.

“Thank you so much for having me, I’ve been questioning when this boy was ever going to introduce me” Niall beamed

“Well I can see why he likes keeping you to himself! Come I’ll show you where you will be sleeping” She said as she led Niall to the door, the blond displaying flushed cheeks as he moved to his boyfriend.

“Thank you again” Niall said before pecking Zayn sweetly on the lips. Zayn merely smiled as he grabbed the blonde’s hands as he led him to the house.

 

Jay lead the two boys into the house which was perched on a cliff giving the house a brilliant view of the ocean below, the house was decorated with earthy tones, literally as the house was built around a large tree which protruded from the centre of the house. She lead them through a hall into a small room with a queen sized bed as red bricks and mahogany blended itself throughout the small space, an open space adorned with terra cotta constituted their bathroom as Niall marvelled at the beauty of the house while his boyfriend only had one concern on his mind

“Mom, there are no doors” he voiced

“Zayniepoo no one cares about your business, have sex as much as you want, just don’t count on being louder than me and Paul” she said with a triumphant smirk, Zayn almost spewed his guts as he looked at his mom with a look of pure disgust while his blond beau laughed hysterically at the exchange.

“I’m just kidding Zaynie, but no one cares about your sex life here if you haven’t even realized we your brother and his extremely horny husband coming over so there is no need to confine ourselves to ‘privacy’” she continued while quoting the last word with her hands, she hugged Zayn again before leaving the two boys to settle in.

“Hey Zayniepoo” Niall said with a cheeky smirk as he moved toward Zayn his hands enshrouding Zayn in a hug.

“Shut up you twat” Zayn said good naturedly as he moved his hands to hold Niall’s waist firmly

“Thank you” Niall says for possibly the hundredth time that day

“I keep on telling you to stop thanking me, I haven’t done anything ok” Zayn says while tucking his face into Niall’s neck.

“But you have, you’ve done so much, and I’m just so grateful for everything” Niall whispered into his ear as he kissed Zayn softly on the lips, the tan boy hummed contentedly into his lover’s lips as he took in Niall’s scent but was interrupted by a shout from the opening of their room

“Zayn! Welcome back my boy!” Paul screamed his thick Mexican accent slithering through his words. Paul stood firmly by the door his strong muscles evident through his wife beater, his face just full of suave bravado which drove everyone crazy, he lunged forward and engulfed the two boys in a bone crushing embrace

“Welcome welcome! Such a joy to see you once again! And you must be the boy Zayn has been talking about!” He screams in their ears

Zayn thinks he would either die or go deaf from this greeting as he and Niall are lifted from the ground Paul’s arms still firmly wrapped around the two.

“Hello Paul please put us down” Zayn tries to say as the oxygen from his lungs slowly drained from Paul’s inhumane hold. Paul puts them down after realizing this; he looks at the two boys with warm eyes.

“So you must be Niall, pleased to have made you acquaintance and might I say you have the most mesmerizing eyes, it looks like a kaleidoscope of the ocean and the sky, bright and deep and beautiful” Paul says while holding Niall’s hand

“Paul please don’t seduce my boyfriend you already have my mother” Zayn said tiredly

“I’m not seducing Niall, I am merely admiring his beauty, because Zayn everybody is beautiful and everybody must be reminded of this, I remind your mother every day, you must tell your loved one how beautiful they are” Paul said while letting go of Niall’s hand and approaching Zayn

“Zayn do you know you’re beautiful, your skin is-“Zayn put his hand on Paul’s mouth before he could continue

“I already know I’m beautiful Paul, please I beg of you I don’t need to be reminded or else my ego will imploded upon itself, Niall and I have to unpack we’ll see you at dinner” Zayn says hurriedly, Paul withdraws his hold on Zayn’s hand and gives Niall’s hand a soft peck before departing the room.

“I like him” Niall smiles, while Zayn falls on the bed exasperated.

+++

Louis and Harry arrived that afternoon after a slight delay of their flight, Harry comes in holding Darcy in his arms while Louis trails behind him holding all their bags. Jay comes in and grabs Darcy out of Harry’s arms as she raises her up in pure admiration.

“Mother Darce is not a reincarnation of Simba please put her down to chest level and my dear husband would you like to help me carry your bags” Louis says while heaving about five bags into the house.

Zayn walks into the scene and sees the amount of bags his brother and his husband were loading into the house.

“May I question why you have five bags, we’re just staying for two days” Zayn asks curiously while reaching for a bag out of Harry’s arms

“Most of it is for Darce, milk, diapers, and all that, where’s Niall?” Louis says while following Jay into their room

“He’s taking a nap” Zayn says, dropping the bag to the floor, Harry then leans close to Zayn and whispers

“And the other bags are full of Lou’s shoes, can’t really separate himself from it, quite depressing if you ask me” Harry adds, while a diaper flies straight to his face from the disgruntled Louis from across their room.

“Shut it mister, unless you want me to throw a soiled one” Louis says faux threateningly, Harry just laughs and unpacks his bag.

+++

They were all seated for dinner and were currently listening to Paul’s retelling of his endeavours in South Africa, something having to do with lions, a villager and his bum. Zayn ate quietly and amusedly as he noticed Niall react to Paul’s story, after he finished he asked Paul directed a question to Niall

“So Niall did you go to art school?” Niall shook his head and replied “No, I just kind of pick up stuff here and there” Paul gives him reassuring thumbs up and pats Zayn on the shoulder while saying “Yes like Zayn! You don’t study, you do!” he scream, while Zayn tries to recover being by a load of bricks. Niall just chuckles at the antics

“You know I used to paint myself when I was younger” quips Jay

“Oh really Zayn why didn’t you tell me” Niall said

“Well because they’re father did not think it proper for me to practice it” She said quite plainly, her tone no bringing resentment but a mere inconvenience

“It was porn” Louis said

“What?” Niall questioned confused

“She painted porn, that’s why dad didn’t support her, also the reason I have sex every single day of my life” Louis said a smirk playing across his lips, only to be erased with a piece of potato being shoved by a blushing Harry “Shut it you no one needs to know our sex life”

“I think you should continue it though mami” Paul said while peppering kisses up her arm

“Oh Paul” she moaned, Zayn just looked at Niall trying to pry his eyes away from the elderly couple as Niall tried hard not to laugh at the two. The dinner came to an end and the couples moved to the sitting room, each lounging upon different couches, except Louis who had to go up to a screaming Darcy.

“So ­­how is it to be raising a little girl Harry?” Niall asked cuddling close to Zayn on the love seat.

“Well it’s been really magical, I mean yeah the waking up at 2 o clock in the morning wasn’t any fun but everything else is just amazing.” Harry said dreamily

“It’s beautiful Niall, I remember when I first got Zayn from Tricia and Yasser’s house, he wasn’t crying or anything just constantly calling for his mother, I had to be patient with him, but soon after he started calling me mama” Jay smiled fondly as she recalled her experiences of motherhood. Niall pecked Zayn on the cheek revelling at the story.

“Darce was easier to manage, she never really knew her parents so she coped better, that and the fact that Louis’ such an amazing dad, even though he’s a real pain in the ass sometimes he take so much of his time for Darce he makes everything so much more easier” Harry smiles

“Is that’s why I keep you keep me around, because I’m an excellent dad and not an incredible lover?”  Louis question from the stairs holding Darcy to his chest, cradling her small body in his muscular arms the baby wide awake and her face screwed into an incomparable grin.

“Aww baby come here” Harry coos at the bundle of joy in Louis’ arms. He proceeds to sit beside Harry still cradling the baby as the curly haired lad plays with the enamoured child, tickling her while on Louis lap. Zayn just looked at the happy family and just one day hoped that he would have that with Niall, that unbarred joy so new and alive that would just uplift his life without compare. But for now he was content with holding Niall closely to his chest his steady breathing growing more in synch with the blond resting on his chest. Niall looked up at Zayn then gave him a kiss on the jaw before sinking his face to the crook of Zayn’s neck mumbling a love you against his skin, the tan boy responded by kissing the top of his boyfriends head.

Jay looked with caring eyes at her two sons a solitary tear forming in her eye as she marvelled at the love present in this room, so she sunk back into the arms of Paul and closed her eyes content with how things were right at that moment.

Zayn was lounging quietly in the queen sized bed waiting patiently for Niall to finish showering, the blond stepped out of the shower fully naked as he dried himself, putting on a pair of sweats and heading for the bed, he lied down beside Zayn getting engulfed in the arm of the tan boy.

“Hey Zayn your mom told me that she would teach me to bake pie tomorrow, she said we could just pick the berries out of the garden and stuff” Niall smiled while looking at Zayn

“You know she wasn’t always like this” Zayn replied

“What do you mean?” Niall questioned

“As in she wasn’t all peace love and weed, she used to cook meat and wear polo shirts not wavy bohemian dresses, it’s like she’s been brainwashed or something.” Zayn said, Niall took Zayn’s arm off himself and replied

“I think she and Paul are really happy, you should take advice from them” Niall mumbled

“What did you say?” Zayn inquired not fully understanding the blonde’s reply

“Nothing, just turn off the lights please”

+++

The sun was bright in the summer air, the bright streaks illuminating the deep blue of the pool the light reflecting the pool making it look like liquid silk. Niall and Louis were wading in the pool lazily as Jay and Harry sat on the sides Jay playing with Darcy while Harry sat content looking at his husband. His silent admiration was cut short when Paul decided to jump of the roof and into the pool splashing everything in the vicinity of the pool. Niall laughed hysterically at the jump and called for Zayn to come join them. Because his brooding boyfriend has been stuck in the adjacent tree house reading a stupid book his publisher asked him to finish. He just wanted to have some fun with him but apparently Zayn was too busy to enjoy time with not only his boyfriend but also his family.

From atop his silent seclusion Zayn grew impatient with the constant calls, it was not that he didn’t want to be with Niall, why couldn’t the blond just come up and cuddle with him while he read. He pondered more solemnly as the afternoon haze brought him into a deep sleep, the soft breeze caressing his skin, his eyes drooping with a contented sigh.

He was awoken by a soft call from the ladder; his mother was standing there her lips formed in a content smile 

“Hey honey I’m really glad you brought Niall, it really means a lot to me” She said quietly

“Yeah” Zayn smiled

“Okay dinner’s in half and hour” she says while retreating down to prepare finish the food.

Zayn stared at the blank space in front of him just letting the silence settle within him as he breathed out quietly he moved from his position to move down to prepare for dinner

That night after dinner and after making sure Darcy was fast asleep the six of them were seated in the dining room lounging about while the evening breeze sang into the room invading their senses with the soft murmurs of the night. Paul whipped out his stash and started smoking up with Niall, Louis and Jay. Harry rejected due to his baby duties that night, babies partly being Louis, while Zayn just was sorely adamant of not taking it.

Louis was properly high at the moment and was constructing sentences straight from his head, uncouth and uncensored

“You know what I love about Harry the most? He’s got the biggest dick ever!” Louis screams at the top of his lungs eliciting laughter from the general audience even, everyone except a certain man with a very tall quiff, Zayn was just trying to get through the night without any internal injury looking at the laughing idiots in front of him. He just wanted to sleep.

“You know what’s really amazing though, Zayn’s really amazing my brother is just is just so magical!” Louis screeches once more, his untamed laughter permeating the confusion on everyone’s mind.

“You know his large mind is so large, just so large and big and wonderful he can make things just like ‘poof’” Louis said his voice slurred as he swayed calmly in his seat, Zayn just froze at those words, hoping so dearly that his brother would have some control over himself

“What do you mean by poof?” Paul questioned his hands dancing in the air

“I mean poof is I mean, you know poof” was Louis’ intelligent reply

“Babe I think it’s time for you to go to bed” Harry said getting the feeling his husband would be blurting out some things he and Zayn wanted to keep mum.

“Well I have to tell them something first” Louis says incessantly

“I think you can tell us tomorrow, we don’t mind the wait” Zayn interjects his voice reaching a point of annoyance at his brother’s antics

“Tell us!” Niall chimes

“I will but you have to keep it secret” Louis says, Harry then smashes his lips on Louis’ knowing full well the effects of marijuana on his husbands sex drive, not that it wasn’t big enough. Louis melted into the kiss and grabbed for Harry’s ass as he molested his lips. When Harry detached his lips from his riled up husband the man looked to his audience and said

“I will have to tell you tomorrow as my husband and I will proceed to our room and sleep” winking, Harry heaved him up and was walking him out when he tripped on one of the potted plants, Zayn and Paul rose from their seats and tried to help the euphoric Louis to his feet

“Here let me help you” Paul gestured his hands grabbing Louis arms, before being swatted away by Zayn, getting infuriated at the whole situation and Paul for bringing up the weed.

“I think you’ve done enough for tonight Paul” Zayn said the proceeded to lead Louis to his room.

When the three were out of sight Paul pardoned himself and followed the three to the room saying that he needed to talk to Zayn. Leaving Jay and Niall by themselves, Niall looked at Jay and gave and apologetic look

“I’m really sorry for how he’s been” Niall said quietly

“No it’s ok, just as long as he isn’t like this all the time” Jay replies

“Oh no, he’ really sweet most of the time” Niall says looking a bit depressed

Jay reached for the photo album laid on the dinner table, the old book displaying pictures of their distant past, she flipped through the pages to a particular picture with a man and a woman in a gold course their crisp polo shirts and khakis displaying such a solemn dignity and pretention. The man looked formal and lean, his perfectly gelled hair and perfect posture radiating authority, while the woman stood with dignity and pride her hair woven in a tight bun.

Niall peered at the couple and looked at the two so stark and formal, then Jay points to the woman

“That’s me and Zayn’s father, Troy” Jay said pointing at the man beside her former self

“He’s so handsome” Niall compliments astounded by the stark contrast of the woman in the picture and the woman in front of him

“Well he was also very strict like I certain someone you know” Jay smiled at Niall

He looked at the picture and indeed in exuded Zayn, so formal and straight forward, he was about to ask Jay a question before he was interrupted by a loud call of his name

“NIALL! Bed now please” Zayn asks pleadingly as the two seated rose from their chair and observed what was happening they could hear the muffled screams of Paul from the distance

“Right now?” Niall asks, Zayn answers with a curt nod

“Zayn what is happening here?” She asked her son, she was answered by Paul carrying what looked like a chair, but was formed by intertwining branches hammered to the base of the chair, its legs made by whole logs of a tree. Paul set the chair down and gestured to Zayn

“Zayn won’t accept my present” he answered

“Why won’t you accept it Paul works hard on his furniture” Jay scolds while Niall nods his head in assent

“Yes! Please accept it I call it the Long pine” moving his hands on the branches intertwining at the back rest.

“He would gladly accept it, it is a beautiful chair” His mother persists

“Yeah Zayn it’s amazing” Niall says while gesturing to the entropic piece of artwork

Zayn just grumbles in response.

That morning Zayn and Niall left with the woodwork securely fastened to the back of their rented jeep, Niall was silent the entire trip back to the airport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the really long wait for the update, so here it is please leave your kudos and comments if you like the fic :D


	8. I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn gets really desperate

The sound of sizzling food and horrid tunes awakened Zayn from his literary hibernation. He peered up from his book to find a bouncing Niall cooking some pork chops for dinner, the blond boy singing an obscure jingle which resounded throughout the empty space. Zayn found Niall singing truly heavenly, but right now Niall wasn’t harmonizing or singing in a specified key, more of morosely spewing out random notes creating an acute almost obnoxious ring in Zayn’s ear. It hit a nerve in the quaffed boys head as he was reading a novel, the title he has forgone remembering, which his editor wanted him to read for “inspiration”. It was the mixture of the infuriating novel and Niall’s screeches of unmelodic harmonies that had Zayn snapping at the joyous blond.

“Niall, can you please keep quiet I’m trying to read” came forth Zayn’s mouth the snappiness and smarminess of the sentence so blatantly present that it silenced the singing boy. Niall looked at Zayn with an offended grimace as he solemnly returned to his cooking the sizzling sounding so much more subdued once the blond stopped his tunes.

The two didn’t talk the entire day Niall avoiding Zayn every chance he got. It was gradually dawning on Niall the silence that was his existence, he only talked to Zayn, his day constituted of ZaynZaynZayn, don’t get him wrong he does love Zayn oh so much but the past few days have been quite hectic for Niall, from the events in the Tomlinson household to Zayn snapping this morning, Niall’s emotions were just building to a point that he could not take it anymore. He sat himself slowly in a chair and curled into himself letting the tears flow freely, he felt so foreign to the world, so far from human contact, so he sat there weeping his frustrations away.

Zayn just finished his book and was on his way to apologize to Niall for that morning when he saw the mass curled up on the couch his head tucked into his knees as slight shivers moved through his body. Zayn moved to Niall and enshrouded him in a strong embrace.

“Hey, hey what’s the problem?” Zayn asked deep concern in his voice. Niall made no attempt to move from his position as Zayn enshrouded him with his arms.

“You know they were trying so hard, Zayn, Tricia and Paul were trying so hard for you, they just wanted you to be happy but you were too busy reading your goddamn book” Niall said nonchalantly

“I’m sorry, what can we do?” Zayn asked concern filling his voice

“Zayn, you don’t have any friends” Niall said dragging the last word, tears fell down his inflamed cheeks as he looked unto Zayn’s figure. His boyfriend looked at him longingly trying to hold on to Niall, trying to appease the depression invading his body.

“I don’t need friends, I have you” Zayn said while cradling Niall’s cheeks in his hands, the blond stares at Zayn with pleading eyes

“Zayn, that’s a lot of pressure” Niall said his eyes pleading pausing a bit letting a small silence fill the room

“-I feel so alone” Niall almost whispered as he succumbed to a new set of tears he covered his face with his hands trying to hold back the loneliness he felt, Zayn held him closer

“What do we do, how do we make it better?” Zayn asked

“I think, maybe I could take up an art class” Niall said quite reluctantly

“That’s brilliant Niall, so you could get out of the house” Zayn said encouragingly

“And I think I should stay in my apartment sometimes” Niall finished, at these words Zayn visibly froze as he let the words permeate his mind, he could not separate himself from Niall, he loved him too much the mere thought brought shivers down his spine, but he could not bear to see Niall this depressed so with all the strength he could muster he said.

“Your apartment, sure” the reluctance trailing from his quavering voice

“Yeah as a sort of experiment” Niall replied trying not to look at Zayn’s expression, the tan boy merely nodded and gave Niall a quick peck.

“At least let me have this night to hold you?” Zayn asked holding his hand out to Niall

“Of course darling” Niall said a faint smile gracing his lips.

The two made their way to the bedroom, Zayn true to his word held unto Niall the entire night his arms entangling themselves on Niall’s thin waist, his olive limbs mixing with the cream ones. Zayn grasped Niall tightly that night wishing so badly he could onto him forever.

+++

 The next day Niall left for his apartment, Zayn being left alone in his house once more with Hatchi to keep him company. He couldn’t think properly and he had nothing to do without Niall there so he called the only person who could help him.

Louis traipsed into Zayn house 30 minutes later with Harry and Darcy in tow. They made their way to the living room and applied themselves on the plush sofas. Harry cradling Darcy in his arms as Louis sat beside him throwing his arm around his husband.

“So where the little bolt of Irish magic?” Louis asked Zayn while he hooked his finger around his daughters cubby little hands.

“Umm he’s not here” Zayn replied meekly as he looked at the happy couple in front of him.

“And why not? You guys are always together?” Harry asked his arms still cradling the enigmatic Darcy

“Well he’s staying at his apartment tonight” Zayn replied timidly

“Is that why you asked us over, you’re feeling lonely?” Louis asked no mockery present in his tone

“Yeah kinda, it’s just I don’t know what to do with him right now” Zayn said

“You should give him some space, all relationships go through this phase” Harry said sympathetically looking at Zayn, he stood up from his position and headed over to Zayn he leaned down and placed the jumping infant on Zayn’s lap. “Here play with Darce, she’ll get your mind off of Niall” he said while plopping himself on Louis’ lap.

“Do you guys have to be all up each other’s asses all the time, kind of depressed right here” Zayn said while lifting Darcy making the baby squeal in pure joy.

“Sorry bro, Harry honey don’t sit on my lap, for Zayn’s sake” He said while smiling at his husband. Harry merely gave Louis a sweet peck and slid himself on the couch.

Zayn just looked at the bouncing baby he had in his lap as he continued playing with the smiling girl he tried so hard not to think of the blond he held last night. He distracted himself with Darcy as he tried so hard to get through the day without his beloved. It worked fairly well, that is until the couple had to leave leaving Zayn once again alone with his thoughts.

He tried to sleep early that night, finding it impossible to sleep without the warmth he was so used to by now. Zayn rolled and squirmed into the black oblivion as he tried desperately to find slumber to wake up tomorrow and see Niall once again. He danced on the bed his limbs moving in every which way but to no avail, he could not sleep without Niall by his side, so he gave up sleeping and stared at the ceiling the entire night.

+++

Zayn was sitting quietly on the sidewalk outside his house the sun’s heat caressing his soft ebony skin as he stared blankly at the street anticipating the arrival of one blond boy. Then he heard the sound of tires scraping the rough pavement he looked at the source of the noise to find a smiling Irishman waving at him his golden hair bathing in the sun the silky strands billowing in the summer breeze. Niall stopped in front of Zayn and gave him a huge hug, the tan boy not hesitating to return the hug holding Niall once more. Niall gave him a smile and went inside.

“Oh my god Zayn the art class was amazing, like the people there were more advanced than me but that’s better cause I can learn so much more” Niall rambled on while entering the house his eyes sparkling with glee. Zayn on the other hand looked completely depressed his face shaped into a slight frown as he looked at Niall.

“I don’t think the experiment is working on me” Zayn said sadly trying to convince Niall of his inhibitions about the arrangements

“Oh come on Zayn it’s only one day a week, I’m sure that’s not too hard to handle.” Niall said totally ignoring the desperation in his boyfriend’s voice, with that he moved his way to the shower not noticing the frown plastered on the tan boy’s face.

And that’s how it went every week Niall would leave and sleep in his apartment and Zayn would succumb to his insomnia, merely staring at the nothingness of the dark while awaiting the return of his blond beau. Zayn became depressed whenever Niall was not present in the house, he would miss the laughter and the joy spewing out of the blond and the constant smell of food radiating from the kitchen as Niall cooked, and the way Niall would play guitar when he was bored and how he would sing to Zayn every night, it was safe to say Zayn truly missed the blond Irishman. Zayn came to the conclusion that he needed Niall, but Niall did not really need him to be happy and he was scared of this fact. But he had to do what was best for the both of them and if Niall needed space he would give him space so Zayn and Niall went with the arrangements without complaints; that is until that one night.

Zayn was in the kitchen the smell of herbs and spices ruminating in a pot composed of tomatoes and red wine marinating the walls its rich aroma. Niall was coming back today and Zayn was preparing him something special after the horrid night Zayn experienced. He was putting the finishing touches to the sauce he was making when the phone rang, he answered with a hearty “hello” before realizing it was Niall.

“Niall! Where are you?” Zayn inquired, he could distinctly make out the loud background noise, too loud to be in an art studio and to clear to be outside, Zayn deduced Niall being in a bar or some restaurant.

“Hey babe! Actually some of the guys from the art class invited me to some drinks so yeah” Niall said

“What time are you coming home? I made dinner” Zayn said enthusiastically

“Well we kind of ordered some food here already” was Niall’s reply

Zayn froze, a deep depression invading his body

“Oh ok, so what time you going home?” He said faking a tone of assurance

“Well you’re kind of far and my apartments right here so I was thinking maybe I would stay there then I’d go there tomorrow” Niall said

Zayn just swallowed all the pain he was feeling, another night without Niall, he could not take it anymore the mere separation of day brought Zayn to a state of regress, Zayn could not imagine the prospect of another night without his beloved. Zayn just said a simple “sure” before hanging up the phone. He continued cooking his dinner, clearing the table of the plate prepared for Niall. Zayn ate solemnly debating within himself, what if? What if he used the little key he had in his pocket to open the little safe he had upstairs and after much pondering he proceeded to clean up the plates and headed upstairs to his study. He moved to the little box at the end of the room, he turned the lock and opened it to reveal a large ream of papers containing the life of Niall Horan, every bit about him that made him human, was right in Zayn’s hand. He skimmed through it until he reached the final paper, he inserted the sole sheet into the typewriter and as he turned the knob the distinct ticking sounding throughout the room. His fingers ghosted through the fine keys of the typewriter, the feel of it so invigorating. All the guilt flushed away as he found the need, the urge to feel Niall in his arms again. His fingers then went into motion the typing resounding throughout the room then a shrill ding resounds as he finishes typing

_Niall felt extremely depressed without Zayn._

He let his fingers free themselves of the magnetic force which attracts it to the power releasing Zayn from his trance as he sinks his head on the table the cold surface hitting him hard, then he hears the echo of a phone ringing, he shuffles from his place and makes his way toward the insistent ringing. He answers the phone to be greeted by silent sobs

“Zayn babe, I need you, can I come home” Niall’s defeated voice sounded through the receiver; while Zayn replied with a resounding yes. He moved himself to the living room downstairs awaiting the return of his lover in unabashed anticipation.

After about 10 minutes of waiting there comes a rasping of the front door, Zayn bolts up and dashed to open it, to be assaulted by the Irishman, whose eyes were swollen from crying the tear tracks evident in his rosy cheeks. Niall held onto Zayn as if his entire life depended on it his hold so desperate and needy as he craved for the presence of his boyfriend. Niall pushed his lips on Zayn as he invaded Zayn’s mouth with his tongue moving fluidly and veraciously throughout his cavity his teeth clattering messily with his lover’s. Zayn did not complain at the attention that he was receiving a smile of content plastering his feature as they continued their dance of teeth and tongue into the night.

When they were finished Niall’s naked body lay contently on Zayn his arms clutching his lover with all his might, and Zayn slept peacefully for the first time in weeks knowing full well that Niall wasn’t going to leave him anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the very very long wait for the update! Please do comment and leave kudos as you please.


	9. Facade

The feeling of Niall pressed up to his chest warmed his heart the steady breathing of the blond so hypnotizing. Though guilt plagued his mind the presence of the blonde was well worth it, though he knew he was treading treacherous water he could not bring himself to feel remorse, as he held the slumbering blond. He needed to feel him constantly beside him; he needed to feel the joy and happiness with him all the time, even if it meant deceiving the blond. Zayn wanted to hold on to Niall forever so as he closed his eyes to invite sleep he held him closer feeling the constant ebb of his breathing against his the constant reminder that Niall was real.

The next morning Zayn woke up to the blonde still attached to him arms and limbs still tangled with his. He had to pee so he pried himself of Niall and made his way to the bathroom, after relieving himself, he heard an ungodly wail from the other room, and he hastily washed his hands and bolted to the bedroom, to find Niall there curled into a ball weeping his heart out. Zayn cautiously approached the wailing blond, touching him on the back and irking him from his trance. Niall flinched and stopped crying he looked at Zayn and made a grab for him, causing Zayn to fall on the bed with Niall latching onto him with his legs and burying his head in the tan boy’s chest.

“Hey, hey, what’s the matter?” Zayn asked rubbing Niall’s back

“You left me alone” Niall sobbed into his chest.

“I’m just here ok, I’m just here” Zayn assured Niall, the blonde nodding solemnly on his chest.

Zayn was confused at the boy in front of him, the desperation was quite extreme, he was quite baffled at the new clinginess his boyfriend was now showing, Niall just wanting to hold on to Zayn the entire time. But things became more extreme.

When they ate breakfast Niall positioned himself as close to Zayn as possible, and leaning on the older boy. Both boys were sharing a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Zayn had his spoon in one hand and the morning paper on the other hand. After scooping a spoonful and leaving his spoon in the bowl he felt an arm latch onto his and interlinked with his fingers. Zayn peered to his left to find Niall staring longingly at him while holding his hand tightly, Zayn couldn’t take his hand away from Niall due to the Irishman’s intense grasp on him, so Zayn chose to use his other arm to scoop himself cereal while his boyfriend stared at him with watery eyes. Pure desperation and yearning evident in the intent gaze. Zayn smiled at him and looked at his paper reading some news about the rising stocks, and then he heard soft sobbing from his right. He peered over and found Niall quietly weeping then muttering

“I miss you already” before latching himself completely on Zayn his limbs interlocking with Zayn’s as the sobs came rolling in, Zayn could just stare at his boyfriend and soothe him while holding him close and peppering him with soft kisses and whispering

“I’m here baby, I’m here please don’t cry, I love you darling please don’t cry”

That afternoon they were sprawled on the couch watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s, it was the scene when Audrey Hepburn was singing Moon River, when the phone rang. Zayn made a move to get up from the couch but was barred by the indignant pleas of his Irish boyfriend.

“Zaynie where are you going?” Niall whines

“Just going to answer the phone babe” Zayn replies heaving himself of the couch, Niall followed suit standing up and clutching onto Zayn’s arm.

“Can I come?” He asks pleadingly, Zayn merely nodded as he made his way to the phone, Niall clutching possessively to him. Zayn just sighed and answered the phone.

This type of behaviour carried out the entire week, for instance taking a bath has become a communal activity with the two boys Niall always finding the need to take a bath with his boyfriend. One time Zayn had to take a shit and had to leave Niall on the couch during one of their movie nights, the Irishman found it imperative that he accompany his boyfriend to the bathroom so Zayn ended up taking a dump while Niall merely sat by the shower staring intently at Zayn while he took a shit.

“You look so cute” Niall said while staring at his boyfriend

“Niall, how is me taking a dump attractive?” Zayn asked confused at the boy in front of him

“You are just so hot Zayn” Niall said dreamily, Zayn huffed and brandished a smile toward his boyfriend.

+++

Zayn and Niall decided to go to the cinemas one night the blonde wanting to go on a date for the longest time, Zayn agreed vehemently and drove them to the nearest cinema. The whole way Niall was leaning on Zayn’s arm over the stick shift holding onto his boyfriend as if his life depended on it. Zayn had no qualms about his boyfriend’s demeanour and merely allowed the blonde to latch on to home.

Once in the cinemas the boys made their way to the ticket booth, Niall holding onto Zayn’s waist and keeping his body as close to the tan boy’s torso as possible. They soon found that the movie was full and they needed to wait for the next showing, the boys then decided to take a walk while waiting for their showing.

Zayn and Niall walked hand in hand along the busy streets of London, Niall silently clutching Zayn’s fingers possessively. They were at a stop light when Zayn’s phone rang, let go of Niall’s hand for a second to answer his phone and trudged on the pedestrian lane. The booming voice of Liam Payne rang through his ears as he walked slowly down the road.

“Zayn!” Liam greeted

“Oh hey Liam” Zayn answered half heartedly

“Well it’s been quite some time hasn’t it” Liam said enthusiastically

“Yeah it has” Zayn answered

“My not hearing from you seems like a good sign I hope” Liam said happily

“Well yeah I’ve been busy writing” Zayn half lied

“That’s great when are you going to come in for your next session?” Liam asked

“Hey Liam actually I think I have to get back to you I’m doing something right now” Zayn said

“Yeah well I’ll see you then eh” Liam said

“Yeah yeah” Zayn answered. He then put down the phone. He was already across the street when he noticed a rather cute blonde missing. He looked frantically around him trying to find the boy

“Niall! Niall! Where are you!?” Zayn screamed, he swore Niall was following him when he answered the phone, then he saw him, a small boy sobbing quietly on the other side of the road, Zayn rushed to his side and took a hold of the weeping blonde.

“Niall, hey hey what’s happening Niall, babe why didn’t you come over?” Zayn asked trying to appease the blond. Niall merely wailed and said

“You didn’t even notice I was gone” He sobbed trying to hold back the tears.

“What? Niall baby come here what’s the matter” Zayn said clutching the boy.

“You didn’t even notice I was gone you just kept on walking, do you hate m-m-. “ the end was followed by a new set of moans.

“Oh babe I don’t hate you, I don’t hate you, please stop crying.” Zayn said he then carried Niall to the car, the boy not stopping his weeping, even when Zayn had put him in bed.

Niall was curled into a ball still weeping his sorrows away

“You just walked, like I didn’t mean anything, Zayn why do you hate me?” Niall sobbed while Zayn held his hand.

Zayn couldn’t take the deep depression his little leprechaun was experiencing, it hurt him to see the boy so sad all the time, he loved him so much and this unnatural depression was taking its toll on the writer. So he knew what he had to do.

“Hey Niall I’m just going to get you a glass of water ok” Zayn said reassuringly

“DON’T LEAVE ME AGAIN ZAYNIE!” Niall howled, Zayn tried his hardest to ignore the pleas of his boyfriend and made his way to his typewriter.

He took out the last sheet once, now typing

_Niall was unbelievably happy._

He ducked his head and praying for the depression to end, he then made his way to the bedroom to be greeted with a surprise. Niall was bouncing on the bed as jovial as can be laughing hysterically at nothing bouncing up and down on the bed, his unbarred happiness showing in his almost maniacal grin. Zayn sighed in relief and simply pounced on the bouncing blonde on the bed and tackled him down holding him tightly.

The next day Louis and Harry came over with Darcy for lunch with the couple. While Harry and Niall played with Darcy in the pool, Niall laughing hysterically and playing with Darcy exuberantly. Zayn and Louis were by the deck grilling up some burgers for their meal.

“Louis can I ask you a question?” Zayn asked cautiously

“Shoot” Louis responded while flipping the now semi burnt burgers

“For someone who says he’s a master of grilling you sure are bad a flipping burgers” Zayn said

“Shut up. What was your question?” Louis replied

“Well lately Niall has been really sad and like I don’t know what should I do?” Zayn asked

“Are you sure, cause it looks like he’s too happy for his own good” Louis smirks, Zayn lowers his voice to a whisper.

“That’s because I wrote him to be happy, look he’s been depressed lately so I made him happy, what I’m trying to say is how do I know what’s happening is real?” Zayn said, Louis looked at his brother calculatedly

“Honestly. Zayn it’s not real, as harsh as it sounds it’s not real” Louis said

“It was real, Louis it was real; when I was making him happy it was real Louis” Zayn said trying to convince not only Louis, but himself as well.

“Well why don’t you write him to return to his old self again?” Louis suggested

“I know but, I’m so scared he might leave me” Zayn said defeated, Louis heaved a sigh and looked into his brother sympathetically before saying

“Look Zayn do you know there was a time when Harry almost left me.” Louis said; Zayn looked at him surprised as his brother and his husband were the perfect couple he couldn’t understand how that would happen.

“We had a really big fight and he left me, but he came back” Louis said

“Why didn’t you tell me” Zayn said surprised

“You had  a lot going on, look what I’m trying to say is, I spend every day of my life fearing he might leave me at any moment, it’s normal because I love him so much and I don’t know what I would do without him. It’s the same with you and Niall, if you love him you will be scared every single day that you might lose him, its normal” Louis explained

Zayn merely nodded in understanding looking at the joyous boy in the pool.

+++

Zayn and Niall were in the kitchen cleaning the dishes, Niall was traipsing around like a toddler in the park his joy never decreasing in intensity. Zayn was going to experiment with something looking at the blond boy, he was going to try and irk an emotion other than complete joy and enthusiasm from his boyfriend so while Niall was skipping around chanting “step on a crack, break your mother’s back” Zayn confronted him and said.

“Niall I think I’ll be going somewhere for a really long time alone” Zayn said trying to find some kind of depression from the boy but he merely grinned and said

“That’s great Zayn; you could write me postcards from wherever you will be going. I love postcards” Niall said beaming at his boyfriend. Zayn groaned internally not finding the reaction he wanted from Niall. He tried once more.

“Or I might just stay here and not go out, not interact with the outside world as a sort of experiment” Zayn said hoping he could edge out some sort of disgust at the idea. But was disappointed when the blonde boy’s grin became larger

“That would be so cool Zayn! We could build pillow forts! Oh that would be so much fun!” Niall said joyously hugging Zayn. He just sighed and held Niall’s cheeks then proceeded to kiss the blond, Niall smiling the whole way through.

+++

Zayn was seated in front of his typewriter once again. It was hard looking at his mistakes, he didn’t want this fabricated emotion, he wanted Niall in all his happiness and sorrows, he wanted his  boyfriend that he so sorely loved, not the morbidly depressed or exaggeratedly exultant boy who had had a fake emotion only to be changed by Zayn’s whims. He needed the Niall who could be happy and sad as he pleased, even if it meant not having the blonde all to himself all the time or having him happy all the time. Though he knew the fight to keep Niall would be hard he had to actually have Niall, not this boy who looked like Niall but was not Niall in being. So Zayn hesitantly type.

_Niall was just Niall. Happy or sad, however he wants to be._

Zayn then sat in silence, letting the darkness overcome his mind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the eternal wait for this update, please do comment as you please, any kind of critique is welcome :D


	10. Flint and Smoke

Zayn had been sitting in his office the entire afternoon, afraid of what had become of Niall. Zayn had not heard a word from the Irishman and was scared of how the blonde would react when he saw Zayn. So he sat there waiting, hearing the silence thrash in the night, the corrupted air seeping Zayn’s thoughts, the darkened night letting the nightmares ensue within his mind, the slithering fear prying his thoughts open and freezing him in fear, loss and gloom. Zayn not noticing the sleep invading his senses fell into a horrific slumber, filled with blond hair being swallowed into a void and the a familiar laughter being engulfed in a dread silence. The silence and the feat encapsulating Zayn in a prison of senseless darkness, and filling him with the relentless dread of solitude, the shadows of the past transcending the passage into a void of oblivion. The silence caressed his ears as the unmarred blankness invaded his senses, the untamable fear rising and curling in his stomach, then everything starts caving in, suffocating him enveloping him with an invisible force so relentless and rabid, he feels the darkness curl into, until he could see nothing else then, light. The unbearable brightness now invaded his once numbed senses as he surveyed his surroundings, nothing but light. He blinks looking around and finds a solitary body standing in the distance, a boy, he had familiar blond hair and piercing azure eyes, but those beautiful eyes were now blank and impassive and his expression unfathomable, his  bright smile wasn’t there, his lips unmoving and petrified. The image haunted Zayn he started moving towards Niall desperately calling out for the boy, reaching out desperately. Then Niall caught fire, the blonds features brightened by the white hot crimson illuminating him, his features started to turn black as pages fell of Niall, typewritten pages with words devouring his entirety, Niall had now become a human torch made entirely out of pieces of paper, then ash. Niall was nothing but a cloud of ash and dulling embers of an inferno. Niall was nothing but the remnants of heat to intense and powerful that it engulfed his entirety, everything had become too much for Niall.

Zayn was shook awake by the azure’s so bright and full of life; Niall was standing in front of Zayn’s slumped figure his eyes surveying the writhing boy before him.

“Zayn, Zayn!” he screamed while shaking the convulsing boy.

Zayn suddenly stopped moving and his breath relaxed as he sat up and let in a breath, his breathing was shallow and he looked shell shocked, Niall put a hand on his back the felt Zayn relax. The tan boy turned around and held Niall, the blonde too shocked hugged back as Zayn wept in his arms, not speaking, just weeping the tears damping his shirt as Zayn continued to weep copiously on Niall and the blond just held him there throughout the night, letting the sound of tears swallow him.

+++  
The next day Zayn woke up alone the soft satin sheets of his bed failing to warm up his tired body, the memories of last night still fresh in his mind. Zayn saw glimpses of his dream last night, the images of Niall burning, the pages just wilting and dying into a pile of black ash. It was worse than death, because Niall did not come to him as a normal person, the moment Niall disappeared every shred of his existence would be torn out of reality with him, every memory and image of Niall would burn away with him. Zayn felt his heart beat faster again, the anxiety rising within him, the thoughts of Niall never exiting plaguing his thoughts. Zayn was scared that Niall would leave him, now he was terrified of Niall slowly disappearing from this life. The growing dread within him was now ever constant and it pulsated through him, the questions compiling in his mind,  _Would Niall slowly disaster? What will happen to Niall if he was set free? Will Niall be torn, will he die?_ All the questions just haunting his every moment, then the sound of footsteps broke Zayn from his trance, to find Niall standing there a tray in hand, his face glowing a smile etched on his face as he saw Zayn was awake.

“Hey, you’re awake. You scared me last night,” was his greeting, the smile turning into a small frown.

“I’m sorry I scared you, bad dream is all,” Zayn said his eyes not reaching the blonde.

“I could tell, so are you going to tell me about it or am I going to have to pester you the entire day to get it out of you?” He asked sitting down on the bed and placing the tray in front of Zayn.

“Thanks, no you won’t have to annoy me, I’ll tell you,” Zayn said, finally looking at the blond a small smile gracing his lips, “It was about my parents, like I was there when they died,” Zayn lied easily, knowing full well he couldn’t tell Niall, it would raise too much suspicion. Lying was the best option for now.

Niall looked at Zayn sympathetically and placed a soft kiss on his lips, not realizing the feeling of warmth radiating from Zayn’s body. The tan boy relishing the feeling of lips, so full and alive resting peacefully on his, the coursing heat just flowing through his body, it was a reminder that Niall was there, a reminder that the boy was breathing and alive beside him. Zayn savored the moment, feeling Niall, trying to just capture the moment in his memory, trying to allow the feeling ruminate in his mind allowing every single detail of that moment embed in his mind, from the sunlight spewing carelessly through the white curtains, to the folds of the bed caressing his thighs to the itch on the small of his back. Trying to hold on to everything that will let this moment stay on his mind, so that if ever the time comes when Niall will disappear, he would be able to remember this moment, this absolutely blissful moment.

After severing their connection, Niall gave Zayn a smile before exiting the room, “I’m going to leave you to your breakfast then, I’ll be downstairs cleaning,” He said already departing for the door.

“Stay, please,” Zayn pleaded, feeling weird about being so needy, he had never done this for anyone, but Niall wasn’t just anyone, so he let the feeling of desperation slide of him, only trying to keep the blonde in his arms. Zayn finally realized the reality of losing Niall, and he was now determined to never let him go.

“If you insist,” Niall smirked before joining Zayn on the bed.

+++

The next days have been uneventful for the boys, only lounging about and having movie nights, Zayn had been very cautions around Niall, always being passive and letting Niall have everything he wanted. Zayn wanted to keep Niall happy trying his best to give all that Niall wanted. He was doing a very good job of this until that one night.

It was a normal night for the boys and nothing had been very different, Zayn was lounging lazily on the couch and Niall was cooking dinner. Zayn was reading another book his editor was making finish for  _inspiration,_  though every attempt at this failing his editors were being adamant for the brand new best seller Zayn was to produce. Had they known that Zayn had his inspiration in his kitchen than maybe they would stop bothering him and let him be, but to Zayn’s unfortunate circumstance he was not allowed to do that without raising questions of his sanity; so he made do with the books. Zayn was about to finish with the chapter when he felt the familiar grumble of his stomach, he laid the book down and called for Niall.

“Niall, when’s the food going to be ready?” He asked the blond in the kitchen not moving from his spot. He was waiting for a reply but was surprised to hear footsteps approaching him.

While not looking at the intruding blonde Zayn said carelessly “You didn’t have to leave the kitchen, you could have just said it from down there.” While sitting up.

“Excuse me, I’m not here to tell you how long it will take, I’m here to tell you if you want to eat then try to actually help me, not whine up here while you’re reading your god damn book!” He screamed his eyes showing a stern intensity.

Zayn was utterly confused at the outburst he had just witnessed, he had asked Niall very nicely and he didn’t know that the blond was feeling this way, he was about to apologize but before he knew it Niall was storming to the kitchen once again. Zayn just tried to ignore the fact that Niall had just screamed at him for no apparent reason and dismissed it as fatigue and anxiety, which he would try not to find the cause. He tried to read his book, but was too distracted with his thoughts. Niall had never been that snarky ever and it shocked Zayn. He tried to forget it but it made no difference, so he got up and made his way to the kitchen expecting Niall to be fuming, but was surprised to find the blonde sitting by himself, weeping.

“N-Niall, why are you crying?” He asked more confused than ever.

“Because I screamed at you and you might be mad,” He said through hiccups.

“Ni, I would never be mad at you, I was actually here to apologize for bothering you,” Zayn said sitting next to Niall.

“No, you don’t have to, I was being unreasonable,” Niall protested grabbing Zayn’s hand.

“I didn’t mean anything I said, because I know you need time for your writing and I’m really sorry, you didn’t deserve any of that,” He confessed still holding onto Zayn’s hand.

“No it’s ok, let’s just eat and forget anything happened ok,” Zayn said holding onto Niall’s hand firmly and placing it on the table. He then proceeded to eat the pasta Niall made.

“Shit Niall this is so good,” He commented after taking a bite, Niall just gave him a smile and ate as well.

+++

Both boys chose to forget about Niall’s outburst the next day, both disregarding the fact that Niall had randomly screamed at Zayn for no logical reason, but for Zayn Niall being normal was enough. But Zayn was afraid, he was treating Niall like a machine, something that when newly given to him was so precious so he took every step of making everything perfect, but at one point the object lost its luster and it was then ignored, lay to waste, but when you find yourself needing the object again, you find it broken, and slowly it dies like everything does, and you feel the end coming, the certain abnormalities which happen seldom become normal and you find yourself just wanting it to be back to how it was, how it was before, when you still cared. Then finally the object would have been broken and you would be left to do you throw it away, and you feel a sinking feeling inside you, as if the moments were too short and you feel ashamed because you destroyed something which so important. Zayn wanted dearly for Niall to not be just an object which he would forget, he wanted him to remain in his life, unlike the other things, friends, his father, past loves. He wanted to find permanency in Niall, but right now as it was Zayn had a feeling the end was coming way too soon, and he wasn’t ready to let go of Niall yet.

Right now Zayn was eyeing Niall while the blond was watching TV, the boy was intent on the show and Zayn made no moves to disturb the boy, he was thinking of ways to fix his situation, so he called the only person he knew and trusted.

_Hey Lou_

Hey Zayn what’s up?

_I need some advice, about Niall._

Oh, what about him?

_Well, he’s been acting very weird lately and well you know how I wrote about **you know what**_

Oh, yeah, you felt him slipping away

_Well after setting him straight again, I’ve been trying my best to convince him to stay, but I feel like it’s happening again_

Zayn, I don’t know what to do, I mean I know you  love Niall and I know he loves you, but playing with his emotions maybe a sign that you have to let things go as they should, no more meddling

_Yeah, I know, but what can I do_

Zayn, Niall’s not Harry so I really don’t what to do, just try to show him that you love him that’s the only thing you can do.

_But that’s what I’ve been doing and nothing’s working, he even screamed at me last night_

Then try harder, Zayn I can’t solve this problem, you have to find out what’s going to happen with you two, and you’re not going to find out talking to me, but by talking to him.

_I- but_

Bye Zayn, say hello to Niall for me.

Then the phone was hung up, leaving Zayn frustrated and lost.

+++

“Zayn can you not block the fucking TV, I’m trying to watch!” Niall suddenly screamed when Zayn passed to return a book to the shelf.

“I wasn’t blocking the TV Niall I just had to return the book, no need to get mad,” Zayn replied calmly trying to not get mad at Niall, though it was tearing him apart hearing Niall’s venomous cry reach his ears.

 “Can you just get out of the way!” He screeched once more, leaving Zayn to silently leave Niall to his own devices, while trying to keep his own emotion intact.

After about an hour sitting in his room checking something online Niall comes in his head bowed down and his face looking regretful. He enter the room silently and sits beside Zayn, the raved haired boy looks to the blond and observes the him, once again his face is blemished by tears and his eyes tinged with the a pink hue.

“I’m sorry,” He says simply, Zayn simply engulfs the boy in a hug not letting the confusion within himself take over, just accepting that Niall was still there.

+++

The next week was littered by recurring moments of extreme rage or sadness enveloping the blonde and in some rare cases extreme happiness – which Zayn liked better than all others combined- but it would always end up with Niall in Zayn’s arms, and that was ok. Zayn had been tolerating Niall’s peculiar behavior just deluding himself that Niall would always come back to regret screaming at him for no reason or for snapping at him for the most trivial of matters, so Zayn was did not know what would happen if Niall actually got mad at him for a legitimate reason.

Niall had been out due to his art classes (Zayn had agreed for Niall to continue on his art classes, just as long as he came back to Zayn’s. This routine was working very well for them, until a certain classmate of Niall’s became very fond of the blond Irishman. His name was Justin and he had been hanging out with Niall the most during the times he spent after the classes. And on several occasion Justin had the tenacity to bring Niall to Zayn’s house, with Zayn opening the door and planting a very wet kiss on Niall and holding his hips very possessively.

One night Niall came very late and quite intoxicated with a very sober Justin leading him to the house. Zayn was waiting for Niall at home getting a bit worried about the whereabouts of his boyfriend. Zayn had succumbed to reading another book his editor assigned him, when he heard the doorbell ring. He hurriedly leaves his book on the couch and made his way to the door. He comes to find Justin heaving Niall his arms around his waist, almost nearing his butt.

“Hey Zaynie,” Niall smiled fondly smiling in a goofy manner while displaying his braced mouth.

“Hey, come in before you fall on yourself,” Zayn said prying Niall out of Justin’s grasp. Niall moves haphazardly to Zayn’s side before looking over at Justin.

“Thanks Justinie, see you next week!” He screams jovially his words slurring a bit.

“No problem mate, just ring me whenever you feel lonely eh,” he replies, not acknowledging the presence of Niall’s boyfriend.

Zayn felt a heat coil up within him a brewing anger building deep within himself.

“Goodbye Justin,” Zayn says with gritted teeth before shutting the door shut.

“Hey Zayn, that was rude,” Niall says sternly suddenly sobering up.

“I don’t care for him,” was Zayn’s reply.

“Zayn, he brought me home, the least you could do was be nice,” Niall protested moving himself away from Zayn.

“I don’t care if he brought you home, he likes you and you’re not telling him that you have a boyfriend,” Zayn said

“Zayn he knows you’re my boyfriend, you kind of make out with me whenever he bring me home,” Niall quipped in a sharp tone.

“But it doesn’t stop him from eyeing you like your some sort of feast,” Zayn groaned.

“God Zayn, he’s my friend, why can’t you fucking understand that,” Niall seethed.

“Niall, can you stop acting dumb for once and see that he likes you, God you can be so stupid at times!” Zayn screamed at Niall, all his pent up frustration boiling into that one statement of pure rage and infuriation. But as soon as the words left his mouth he finds himself regretting it immensely as he finds Niall staring at him in disbelief.

“Is that what you think of me? I’m just stupid. “Niall said sullenly his voice suddenly becoming soft and vulnerable.

“No, no, no, I didn’t mean it in that way, Niall.” Moving closer to the blond his hands outstretched.

Then suddenly Niall converts 360 as he looks at Zayn with pure untamable rage, his eyes turning into deadly slits as he eyed Zayn with deep contempt.

“Don’t you fucking touch me, you asshole,” he says menacingly the bitterness dripping profusely off his tongue.

Zayn cringed at the tone withdrawing his hand while trying to calm Niall down.

“I’m sorry Ni, I didn’t mean it that way, please calm down,” He begs

“Don’t, you asshole, I’ve been so fucking confused lately and this week has been such a bitch, I don’t fucking need your attitude, I just needed a night to forget everything and you fucking ruined it! God damn it!” He screamed at Zayn he was now properly enraged his eyes bulging and his expression deadly. Zayn tried again to come closer, but to no avail.

“I said don’t touch me!” Niall screamed once again, moving to the door.

“Niall please” Zayn pleaded.

“Don’t you dare follow me,” he said finality in his voice, his hand resting on the knob.

“Niall please, let’s talk about this. Please just don’t leave,” Zayn pleaded trying to move towards Niall.

“Just don’t,” He says before walking out and slamming the door behind him, leaving Zayn to curl up into himself and cry himself to sleep, trying to remember the moment, the white satin sheets, the lips touching him serenely, the sunshine lighting up the room, Niall’s face smiling at him. Zayn tried to remember, as the void invited him once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment! Comment! Share your opinions!

**Author's Note:**

> I initially posted this on my Wattpad and Tumblr account, hopefully you guys like it, comments are highly appreciated


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